Weekend rant- suggestions or feedback

Ranting here as i don’t like to share my problems issues with anyone.

We were friends in college. Over time, I slowly started falling for her. For a year, I kept it all inside — the feelings, the hope, the silent affection. Then one day, I couldn’t hold it anymore. I sent her a long text pouring out everything I felt for her.

She replied saying she didn’t feel the same. Maybe not now, maybe not ever. But at that time, she was also dating someone else. That relationship didn’t last, but through all of it, I stayed. I was there for her in every phase of her life — her highs, her lows, her breakdowns, her celebrations. I was just… there.

She never gave me false promises, but sometimes she’d say things or behave in ways that made me feel like maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance. And I held on to that “maybe” longer than I should’ve.

Later on, I saw her get closer to others. She started hanging out more with a new circle. Eventually, she got into another relationship. College ended. Life moved on.

I met her again after two years through a mutual friend, and honestly, all those feelings rushed back. The nostalgia hit hard. We reconnected. She had gone through a breakup and we started talking again — even about feelings. Sometimes it felt like she also wanted something more. But then I found out she had met her ex again… and still had feelings for him.

Even then, I stayed. I consoled her. I stood by her. Whenever she felt lonely, I was there. We went out, watched movies, spent time — and yet I was never more than “just a friend.” She never said she liked me, never made a move, and honestly, I don’t think she ever saw me the way I saw her.

And I don’t even blame her. I think I was just too available. Maybe that made it easy to take me for granted — not intentionally, not to hurt me, but just because I never gave her a reason to miss me.

We still talk. We still meet. But I’ve started accepting it now… I was just a comfort space. A fallback. A gap filler.

And I don’t know how to let go completely when I’ve given so much of myself to someone who never really asked for it.

If anyone’s been in a similar situation — how do you walk away from something that was never yours, but still took everything from you?