Why is it that some men show too much interest in you for initial few weeks, like asking for ig and then ig messages. Seeing your stories just about the instant you post it. They tell you about their last break up they can't get over with but still tell you that falling in love is the most beautiful part of life and talk about wanting to settle down - until the time you show interests and hola! They suddenly change their verdicts - suddenly they're no more interested. Suddenly they get busy and don't respond to your messages anymore. My question to men, what do you seek from a woman when you are looking for some serious engagements. Whom should one trust with attachments?
Most Indian men dont know how to form meaningful emotional relationships. Its how they ate being raised. However its changing now. More men are accepting this and working on it.
do you mean a woman should not emotionally invest in men before there is a legal contract of justifying their bond?
No he means that most people don't give it as much importance as they should. There are a good % of them that do. Take your time and date one that matches your personality 🧘♂️
Isn't this like straight forward? Dude like you shows a high amount of interest and either gets mixed signals or no signals and backs off or sees that the vibe doesn't match and backs off or he finds someone else and backs off. Or you playing hard to get and dude doesn't understands wtf that means and backs off.
Men are simple creatures we just do basic cost-benefit and effort-opportunity analysis before asking a girl out. Or you can smile at us and we can forgo all the maths
@Elon_Musk few men back out even after getting the right hints. Simply because they like the chase and not the fruit after the chase.
Some people just want to watch the world burn.
Is the vice versa also possible? I've noticed the same problem with many girls.
Agree. This society is evolving gradually, both men and women will have to adapt it. Its not only men’s game, women will have to put equal efforts.
it could be people who faced similar situation - who got tired of flaky men
IMO Indian men are yet to learn the “dating culture”, unlike west most of the families raise their kids differently. This leads to a new exposure for the kids where they have mot seen something like this and they have to do it and learn from mistakes.
what about the emotional toll a woman has to go through?
You need to navigate, help them when they are lacking. Also respond to them at right time, they will leave if you dont show interest. Maybe somene else has shown interest and they have moved on. Pick the early signs and put equal efforts. Take this as 2 sided game, its your duty also to keep the game going. In this society men and women are supposed to be treated equal.
The unfortunate truth is that people just don't know what they want and have really short attention spans. This coupled with people living for validation from social media only makes it worse.
I've met my girlfriend of 2 years on hinge and I'm happy to say that I see myself living the rest of my life with her. But that being said, dating apps have made availability of options so ubiquitous that i think most people struggle to give enough time to form meaningful bonds. Cuz they feel like the next best thing is right around the corner.
As for men ghosting after some time. This is just shitty behaviour in my opinion (btw loads of women do this too ) and regardless of gender people need to understand that there is another human with feelings at the other end of it. The least one can do is communicate what's on their mind. It might lead to a uncomfortable conversation but atleast there is a sense of closure for everyone.
I think we should all get comfortable with uncomfortable conversations and respect people's emotions if we are gonna enter into the dating pool. It's a social contract that we should never break.
My two cents on this
Also @MoiraRose you might get a lot of negativity on here. Don't let that get to you.
Thank you for sharing, it does take a lot to share personal experiences even on anonymous sites.
Know that the grass is greener where you water it. Take it one day at a time and be clear about what you want from a interaction with a person. If they flake then know that Its for the best....and a better person is out there.
Best of luck and wish you a lot of happiness and joy.
Men! That’s why.
So true. The very same reason I was skeptical from the very beginning and never trusted anyone all these years until there's someone who comes up and tells you to believe them upfront and once you are convinced and start showing up little hints - that's exactly when they back out. They disappear like they never meant anything they said. And you realise you should not have made exceptions for people.
BS, its more like ranting about your personal experience and blaming all men for that. Sort it out at personal level, its high time that you should also change.
Apologies in behalf of menfolk. We're mostly idiots when it comes to emotions.
TL:DR; Date slightly older men.
Reasons why you are experiencing what you are:
For most men, the thrill is in the chase. It's nothing to do with you, its just how our limbic system is wired. The Paleomammalian cortex.
I am not sure what the age of the men you're going out it with is.
Till the age of 25 our emotional decisions are driven by the amygdala. The amygdala shines bright during our adolescence. The amygdala is a critical part of the brain but is a poor decision maker.
The good decisions come from a well developed prefrontal cortex. This develops in men only in their mid to late 20s, when we become a little better at decisioning emotions.
This isn't an excuse for dating indecisive buttholes, but they're not entirely to blame. Forgive him for he knows not what he does.
Safest bet would be 30+ imo
They tell you about their last break up they can't get over with Ye sabke sath hota hai kya 😂 I thought I attracted these $@&%
+1
Short answer: you were late to respond or commit. In your mind you must be dropping obvious hints, but given today’s culture, it’s pointless unless it’s explicit. If it happens once or twice, it’s the other guy. But if it hairs frequently, it’s likely you.
Longer answer: You have omitted a lot of info into this post. One clear thing is you start by playing hard to get. In this age, no one will be talking just to you. They also assume you don’t do it either. If you are making the guy do the work, win your trust, affection, be interesting, charm you, convince you they are the one, they will expect an answer quickly. If you are late, it’s mostly taken as no. They have options, talking to multiple girls, and you were just slower than others. Or unsure. A guy can only charm you for so long till he infers that you are not interested.
One thing you could do is lay out how you think instead of the guessing game. I remember this one girl telling me she wants to wait 2 months before committing, i appreciated it. Moved on from her, but it was great that she was honest and i didn’t have to figure that out.
@MoiraRose This is the most realistic and practical answer I could find. Due to demographics in the metros and every social circle you see, you (women) have a good very advantage in terms on numbers.
Most single men are widening their chance by talking and approaching more women than women talk to men. If you like someone without a red flag, you shud verbally commit asap. If he rejects, then you get your closure fast instead of the tireless guessing and anxiety on both sides.
Hiii buddies,
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