New kids seem very spoilt. How do we ensure our kids turn out fine?
It's something I've noticed over the last 5 years, kids these days are super confident (great for them) but have little to no respect for others or elders
At least in posh societies, I think this has changed drastically.
An example from today
- kid enters elevator and starts jumping aggressively. I gave him the death stare
I know this is small. It's just I cannot fathom what the thought process is. And while this is small, I often see parents absolutely failing to have any control over kids.
Even if you try to raise your kid right, they will have other spoilt friends...
Whats the solution? What do you guys think?
Discipline has to be instilled at the house. I always behave in the manner I ask my kids to behave. That includes some serious behaviour changes. Before going to some place, I clearly tell them how they should behave and what is allowed and what is not allowed.
Those kids don't behave aggressively, their parents behave aggressively and entitled. They are just a shadow of the original. The so called posh societies are occupied by the worst scum.
That's true but. I am not sure if parents are spoilt or if they've just given the kid too much leeway because of excess money and everyone focusing and giving attention to one kid
I am curious. Once the kid goes to school, your control will reduce. Does that concern you? How do you plan for then?
The age between 1-12 is the most important. Untill they are teenagers we can track their behaviour. We can stop a whole lot of bad behaviour during this time. My theory is Once they are moulded at that time. it is largely easy afterwards.
For me i will raise my kid the way I have been raised. I think for spoilt friends we need to spend time with your kid every day, and ask about his/ her day. We could correct them early on itself if we talk. But if we think of them as nuisance/ liablity or didn't full-fill our duty as a parent both kid and us will have a tough time ahead
Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times
🗿🗿🗿
True
I am facing the opposite problem. My kid now 8 yrs take everything at the absolute value.
When he was 5-6 yrs old his teacher and we asked him to be good boy and no fights, respect others bla bla. Explained him the process of conflict resolution. Result - Always got beaten by other kids in the class, follow process and complain with the teacher, teacher scolds the other kid but nothing changes.
We changed our strategy and ask him to fight back if someone hits him but never start any fight by yourself. Now if someone touch him he push them hard. Now kids don't fight with him but It feels bit over.
We are training him for sports and he do regular excercise that made other kids more vulnerable.
He is over disciplined. Will answer what is required and follow all the instructions.
We want him to be street smart and decide things by himself and make right decisions. He can't handle any new scenario and don't know how to behave if something unexpected comes up.
Oh Interesting
That's definitely unique. I think application of own discretion is what he needs to learn. It's great he listens, you'll just have to figure out and get him to trust his own gut.
Sports and team sports can prolly help
Raise your kid in a good way, with all the values & ethics you wanna teach him. Even if gets spoiled for a few years, he'll most likely realise it all when he starts his own life & understands the world
This is very fair
Adolescence is always tricky, them coming around to the right values at the right age is the important thing
Its simple kids replicate your actions. Which means for people who outsource their parenting to daycare has basically transferred their parenting rights to the State. And you know how state works only rights no responsiblities. As a young parent its your responsiblity to prevent this. And its basically done by treating your parents the way you want your kids to learn. You have responsiblity of 2 generations.
Also single child parents are more to blame as they have only 1 child so they child become more entitled sue to extra love and affection. This this create problem for the future partner of these kids. Clashes and ego issues. This is general observation not counting exceptions.
Finally some one said this. This has been in my mind and family for some time. Lately our family had to be involved in a lot of arguments with the neighborhood regarding the same about the behaviour of the children here. The parents feel so entitled and proud at the bad behaviour of their children. I feel the parents think as if they are raising some machine that will go to any odds to get what they want. Like they're providing them with a challenging environment where they'll learn how to fight, argue or bad mouth others by encouraging them to do whatever their mind says irrespective of how others feel about it.
Thanks @AlphaGrindset for putting this here!
My 5 year old hits me shouts at me , my husband doesnt allow me to punish him.
