Married people, would you suggest taking a loan for marriage?
I am 31 M. My father passed away when I was still in college and I've been taking care of my family ever since.
I spent a lot of money of my father's medical treatment, paying back debt to relatives, helped my younger sibling with education etc
Now I don't want to spend money on my wedding as I want a financial safety net.
But most girls parents don't want simple marriage or they assume since I want a simple marriage I'm not financially stable.
Recently I met a girl on matrimonial website. We hit it off really well but her parents want a grand wedding.
What should I do? If you took a loan for your marriage, was it worth it?
If her parents want a grand wedding, ask them politely to pay for it…. and tell them the truth. If they are understanding, its going to be great for you, if not, i would suggest reconsidering as the demands aren’t going to change in the future, house, car etc, and there are plenty of people in the world.
+1
Are you a joke for real, what do you mean demands for car, house etc. isn’t these demands by groom’s side from eternity. Why would a girl’s father ask for it ?? At least, i have not seen any such instances where a girl’s father is demanding these for his daughter in this patriarchal world.. 🙄
I think good idea would be to set the boundaries. Maybe start talking with the girl about it and maybe then she or both of you can convey it to her parents. "I am having some financial limitations. I can possibly spend only xx Lacs on marriage, as I want to have some money for down-payment for a good house, as our family grows we would need good space".
If they want lavish marriage for YY (lacs/crore), they should pay the differential YY -Xx amount, given you cannot mutually agree on an amount.
I personally think spending on marriage is waste. Whether you spend 1 lac or 10 crore, people would make fuss out of something (uncooked food or them mistreated). Rather use that amount on vacation or getting a lavish house. A lavish wedding celebration dies in a day, but lavish house is there forever. Perhaps its my mindset after spending decades in india but it is what i feel.
Decades outside india I mean
No. It’s a trap. Unless the girl is equally willing to contribute for the lavish wedding don’t sign up for it. It’s not worth it.
I did it. Took a loan, 3 years I suffered. The panic attacks u would get doing my monthly calculations and the amount of usual day sacrifices we both as a couple had to do was traumatic.
Trust me the big day is only 1 day. Once the wedding day is over the loan lasts for years and until it’s closed you are not at peace.
Also- consider it only if the total cost is within 15lakhs, anything beyond that will be a nightmare. I suffered with a 10lakh loan.
Also- marriage comes with endless expectations. Parents don’t stop at wedding gold and rituals, once wedding is over then comes car and then the “own house” trap, make a baby before it’s late and etc etc…. You will be drowning in debt anyway. Avoid anything and everything that you can.
What do you mean by cost it within 15 lac? Like 15 lac from each side i.e. 30 lac or 15 lac total?
you don't know his current lifestyle or earnings, what 15 lac is to you could be less or higher to him. Should give him some percentage. Like I'm paying 12% of my salary in the Car Loan I took.
When I first spoke to my wife 10 years ago (arranged marriage), among the first things she said is she doesn’t care about grand weddings and wasting money needlessly. I’m just really fortunate to have met and married her, I guess.
Love this for you (and me, coz I also am fortunate to find someone like that)
If your fiancee doesn't understand your situation, or the consequences of taking a loan. Then she's not the one. Every penny you save on something like a wedding could be put to good use once you start a family. A Debt free family is always happier than one which had a grand wedding.
Brother don't take loan... Marry late... You will get a better partner. If her parents are involving this much now then after marriage all the strings will be controlled by them only. You can't have a good married life. Think of long run rather than small term happiness
"You can have a good marriage when there is so much interference from spouse parents" I agree to this 💯 this is so so true!
Do you want to say "you can't have..." ?
Does groom is equally responsible to contribute in marriage preparation or it’s just from bride’s end? As being a Female i have started saving for my wedding and it’s kind of hard
In my community all the expenses are equally split between both the families.
That’s nice actually as in my community it’s from bride end mostly and that’s too much pressure
Broo !!!!!! My only regret in life was having an extravagant wedding. My parents, spouse parents - both spent heavily .. But what's the use, we didn't enjoy - too busy in customs, we didn't even get 10% of the expenses. (There was no dowry)
I mean if you are very rich and financially free then it's okay to spend, otherwise it's useless to do it for society. People come eat, criticise and leave.
Save money, take vacations, feed poor kids, I mean do anything but don't take loan for marriage.
Exactly what I meant bro! @Funfan
It's not worth it. Taking loan for such a thing which will consume his salary after marriage is nonsense and if OP was rich he won't ask about this question. He will need the most of his salary after marriage. There are so many new things he'll have to take care of and paying emi on such a loan will be regretting
