Had a dinner recently that made me think hard about success and its hidden challenges. I'm in my early career phase but doing well, and met someone who's been in the industry much longer than me. What unfolded was fascinating.
During our conversation, I kept things modest about my role and progress, yet there was this palpable undercurrent. You could feel the slight tension when discussions touched on career paths or industry experience. Not hostility - just these subtle moments where my faster progression seemed to hit a nerve.
It really clicked later at a team event when we were discussing lifestyle choices. I mentioned what seemed like a reasonable expense to me for something, and suddenly felt the energy shift. What was normal in my world created this invisible barrier I hadn't meant to build.
Nobody writes handbooks for this stuff - the unwritten social complexities that come with early success. It's not about having massive wealth, but just about progressing faster than the typical curve. You start noticing these small moments where you have to edit yourself, not to hide anything, but to maintain genuine connections.
The irony is, most career advice focuses on how to achieve success, but rarely touches on how to handle the relationship dynamics that come with it. It's not just about managing your finances - it's about managing perceptions, maintaining authenticity, and navigating professional relationships when your journey looks different from others.
Would be really interested in hearing others' experiences with this. How do you stay genuine while being mindful of these dynamics? Don't think this is about showing off or hiding success - feel this is about maintaining real connections in a world where financial progress can unexpectedly complicate relationships.
Hits home about college friends too. Used to split everything equally during college days - from pizza to road trips. Now some of us are in tech/finance while others chose teaching or non-profits. Those casual 'let's grab dinner' convos got trickier when some can easily drop 2-4k at a nice place while others are budget-watching.
Really makes you think about how to keep those friendships authentic without making money stuff weird. Still figuring it out tbh :/
Yeapp. Its the subtleties that come into play
You need to “grab dinner” to meet your old school friends? That’s where the issue starts. Such things are spoiling the authenticity.
My friends and I still meet on a road behind an industrial park, sit and talk there for hours, like we’ve done since last 15 years.
Best advice I got: create different social circles. Have your industry peers for career talks, keep old friends for life stuff. Trying to merge these worlds usually backfires. Keep it simple.
Sounds like humble bragging with extra steps tbh. If you're doing well, just say that. All this overthinking about 'managing perceptions' feels unnecessary and kinda fake.
I guess our circle gives such feelings. You had to be in his shoes to understand what he is coming at.
For me, i am not yet close to what i wanted to be. But with my friends circle, i have the coziest things and that makes me uncomfortable in certain aspects.
As long as you don't boost and show other person down,
I think it should not be a issue to find friends and good connections across economic classes.
And it is truth of life that
economic status , classes
also play role in social grouping.
So if other groups are not openly embarrassing you, you may still able to find a good connections in your economic circle.
I doing good in my life as well. My childhood friends are still in my hometown and earning there only. Obviously they are earning less. But let me surprise you. Every time I visit my hometown, a get together is confirmed and nobody allows me to pay. They say.. "saale paise andar rakh, agar jyada ho rhe hain to humko 10 20 lakh de de hum ghoomne jaayenge.. " they are my real asset. 5 min I talk with them... they say few nice words to me ( pun intended) and all my strees of office and life seems fading...
My point is.. you don't have to worry about teue relations, if you have to worry, then something is not right.
The more you don’t think of yourself as you have now achieved success and you are successful, it instantly changes how you perceive others and how others perceive you , the self creates this perception , try being a student and leave all this success being administered to you by the societal terms and conditions, but as much said and done this is what and how the societal norms are, the only way to accept is by playing along how situation demands it. Most important be kind.
It shocks when it happens in the family. Your parents and direct blood siblings. These are the ones where our guard is mostly down and we are safe to express unless one freaking day it hits you that it all has been changed.
You seem to approach them from very genuine place but all they see is your ego of money, success and what not. And no amount of balance you make is ever sufficient. Society is a flawed concept.
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