I feel lost and aimless - Am i depressed?
I have a good job, and i earn decent money. I have a girlfriend who loves me, but she is more aimless than me. She quit her job more than a year ago and hasn't joined the workforce yet.
About me, I feel lost and aimless all the time. The people at work, they are not bad people, just not the kind of folks i can be comfortable with. All of them are super competitive, so its hard not to one-up them all the time, and that takes any chance of having a real connection with anyone.
I workout regularly, eat clean, fit, have discipline and try to do everything right. And yet, i feel like i have wasted my life. Mostly because when i scroll down my contact list, i feel like i have nobody to talk to.
Nobody calls me either, and it must be because i am not interesting enough to talk to? Or i am just too much of a buzzkill for anyone to care.
I try to help people whenever i can, never had a big friend group. I barely had any parties that I went to. I see people out and about, and I wonder I am nearing my 30s, and never had what they have.
I try to replace the emptiness in my life with stuff, or learning a new skill. But as soon as i get it, it all comes back. It just keeps me distracted for a while before i find the next thing.
I miss the sun, how it used to feel. I miss how the evenings felt like when i was a kid, i just want to go back to who i was, or just be stuck in a time that made sense. Where i was truly happy, and never come back. The music, the friends, the people, it was all good when i was young.
I have faced a lot of hurdles in my life, and came back stronger from all of it. But it came at the cost of not having anyone in my life.
Takes real courage to put your true feelings out here. But let me tell you something, Grass is always greener on the other side. People tend to overlook what they already have.
So many people would die for the things you've mentioned. Eating clean, Regularly working out are habits that seem natural to you, but for someone who's not into it, It seems like an uphill climb.
With age, people become more reserved.
People would like to talk to you, but you have to care enough to hear about them too. Start talking to people, tell them about your life and struggles, some might respond empathetically, they are the ones who care about you.
So true people really wish and struggle so that they could have these things in their life. As human, whatever we achieve we always feel it’s not enough.
I have tried all my life to fit in. But never really felt i belong. I am at a juncture in my life where i have accepted that its probably not for me. I will be alone, but its hard. I thought I can go all my life by shutting myself off, because the world ignore me. But people need people.
Take a well deserved break to start with. 2 to 3 weeks atleast, go for a holiday with family or close friends. If nothing is possible, don't think a lot or plan too much.. Just go ahead alone. First week, just relax, have nice food, meet new people. After that, take 1 step at a time, build a hobby - not upskill - a hobby which you can continue. Like writing a dairy - start with best days of school, college and then continue with it.
i’ll try that, thanks. I have a dysfunctional family, so that kinda adds to the mix of having a shitty environment. But i will see what i can do
This feels like I'm stating/ reading my current condition through your post.🥹 Felt so much connection
try meeting new people, explore new places outside your area or city. maybe the issue is not with you but the society in which you are
I try, a lot. But people do not resonate with me. They don’t give back what i give in. I have tried a lot, a lot to fit in. But i just don’t. How do i even make friends with someone at this juncture when we are not in college anymore. Coworkers are shitty people i would rather not see anymore.
Your fifth paragraph answers to your situation.
Make a bigger friend group, go to parties and events, make friends.
It's quite simple really. All you need to do is try.
If could just do things, like having a bigger friend group i would. I cant go to parties if no one invites me :)
If it was simple, everyone would do it.
Similar situation. Except I quit my job 2 months ago after 8 years, took some time off to figure myself out, and bridge the gap between me and my friends.
Work always kept me so occupied that i never could sit with them without having work on the back of the mind.
Now, i am on a solo trip since last 20 days, not exploring any new places but just visiting and staying with all my friends across cities. Because i could not deal with them not being a part of my life. I felt so empty that no amount of work or exercising or lone travel could replace it.
I loved it when i sat with them and we reminisced old memories, discussing life’s happenings. You need someone to talk to man.. you need friends. Not many but some close ones…
Do go out and interact. Reconnect with old friends. It will help you out atleast to feel light.
Hey! That ache for how things used to feel when you were younger - man, that hits deep. You’re not broken, you’re grieving a version of yourself that felt more connected. Press Pause on that “I’m not interesting enough” story your brain is telling you. Depression literally makes us invisible to ourselves - it’s not that you’re boring, it’s that your mind is exhausted. Here’s the thing - you became strong by surviving those hurdles, but somewhere along the way you built walls so high that connection became harder. That’s not your fault, that’s survival. That emptiness you’re trying to fill with skills and distractions? It’s actually your heart asking for genuine human connection. Start ridiculously small - maybe just one real conversation with someone instead of surface level stuff. The competitive work environment isn’t helping either - when everyone’s trying to one-up each other, authentic connection dies. You’re not too much of a buzzkill. You’re just tired from carrying everything alone for so long. We have people sharing similar struggles with feeling disconnected and finding their way back to joy: https://link.elfinahealth.com/presspause That version of you who felt the sun and loved evenings isn’t gone forever. They’re just waiting for some gentleness 💙
Your GF found her sugar daddy 😍
