From chasing 50 LPA to finding peace: My realization at 29
29M, working as a PM. I’m writing this because I see so many posts here about CTC, switches, and burnout. I was exactly there until few months back.
The Rat Race (Age 22 to 28)
Since graduating from a college, my approach was simple: Happiness = Next Achievement.
I started at 12 LPA. Felt great for 3 months, then felt poor compared to the guy earning 18 LPA. Switched jobs. Got 24 LPA. Felt like a king for 6 months, then saw a batchmate post about his onsite opportunity in London. Felt miserable again.
I was living in the future. "I’ll be happy when I get that Senior PM title." "I’ll be relaxed when I buy a bike." I bought the bike. I got promoted as well over time. The void just doesn't fill. I was earning top salary but my mental health was in the gutter. I was constantly anxious, checking Slack at 11 PM, and doom-scrolling LinkedIn on weekends.
I was physically in Toit having craft beer, but mentally I was fighting imaginary battles in the boardroom.
Last year, I missed a promotion I 'deserved'. I spiraled. I felt worthless. That’s when I stumbled upon Jiddu Krishnamurti. I usually hate spiritual gurus, but his approach was different.
I started reading Freedom from the Known. It destroyed me. JK talks about "Psychological Time." He explains how we use the future as an escape from the present. We think "I am this, but I will become that." That gap between what is and what should be is where all suffering lives.
I realized I was never actually living. I was just using the present moment as a stepping stone to get to a "better" future. But that future never arrives, because by the time you get there, you’ve moved the goalpost.
Living in the Now
It took time, but I stopped the "becoming" game. I still work hard. I still want to earn money. But my happiness is no longer held hostage by the outcome.
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Observer vs Observed: When I feel jealous or anxious, I don't fight it. I just observe it. As JK says, "The observer is the observed." The moment you watch the feeling without judgment, it loses power.
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Sensory Awareness: I started actually noticing things. The taste of morning chai. The wind on my face during a bike ride. It sounds cliché, but when you are fully present, you don't need expensive things to feel good. The material world is fine for comfort, but it cannot give you psychological security.
To my brothers here:
Stop waiting for your life to start after the next switch or appraisal. Life is happening right now. If you can’t find stillness in this chaos, a higher salary won't give it to you.
Be here. It’s the only place you exist.
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Thank you for writing this post ..that’s very true but some guys are fighting to have stable enough income not everyone starts great …and this very true we should not judge any one based on there salary ,work or status ,less or more
Absolutely Our world is so convoluted that we often don't realize how much random bs is around us
If you take a certain stance... life doesn't feel as complicated as you made yourself believe it is
Ironically your life was only getting better due to that comparison because you never had your own personal goals. Be grateful to everyone in your life who is doing better than you and allowed you to progress incrementally instead of feeling overwhelming despair of never being able to catch up. If you came across someone earning 10-20x as you, you would have given up and stayed where you were forever
Started with 12lpa huh advice for the PPL started with 2lpa and more pls ?
I can tell you it's feels like 'you are good for nothing'. It feels like climbing a mountain for peanuts, knowing that you are not living your life but can't help it. The vibes return DAILY
This is what I tell everyone who is friendly to me. But they never listen. They keep on grinding for higher and higher CTC as if they were born to grab package of the millenium.
Poor social animals
I was physically in Toit having craft beer, but mentally I was fighting imaginary battles in the boardroom.
This feels like hell
Good thoughts!
Paisa aane k baad log gyan dena shuru karte hain, main b dunga jab itni salary ho jaegi, peace , work life balance, travel, gather memories ,live life to the fullest , falana dhimkana, lehsun lehsun
Good that you don't have family n friends who owns business, when I get to hear who is buying which prime plots and real estate I feel like corporate slave even at 38 lpa I feel like loser.