felt like sharing. pls share pov, suggestions
I'm 29, single, and financially stable, but I often feel like life lacks meaning. I'm set to have an arranged marriage in June 2025, but I'm worried about how things will turn out, especially considering issues these days like drum thing, false cases, and alimony concerns.
I don't have strong emotional feelings for my partner yet since we're just getting to know each other, but I'm willing to put in the effort. Still, I can't shake the worry about how things will unfold.
Will I end up regretting getting married? The main reason I agreed to it was to avoid feeling lonely in the future.
Man, oh man. You'll be in the drum🤣.
Did you want to hear that? No one knows what will happen. Just because you see these cases doesn't mean you will end up like it. There will be instances to make the things right if they go wrong. Relax and enjoy your happy days
thanks for explaining it so nicely. just curious to know if you are married ?
I see your approach to marriage is coming out of concern or fear that something bad will (or might) happen and hence you're not probably opening up to her which will actually help you get rid of the worries of getting separated in the first place. Marriage has to come from trust, not just love. Love can be explored after marriage but if you don't think she will be with you in your lows, thinking that she WILL be your low is, my friend very detrimental for you. I'd suggest you take your life with her seriously, as much as you take your career seriously and meet a marriage counselor.
Abhi marriage hua nahi hai aur marriage counsellor se mil le ye jake?😄🤣
Dear, just because you are feeling lonely doesn't mean you should marry. Considering the family pressure and having a doubt what if I will be alone in future, I guess it's better not to rush things. Why don't you guys spend some time together as you said june 2025, you still have time to know each other more. If you both feel compatible, can go ahead.
If you don't meet that person, or never knew how they react when you are low, or have never traveled together, then it's difficult to understand the other person. Bdw, are you a male or female, just asking.
And please make a good decision, not considering the temporary situation but thinking about your future life.
I wish you a good luck!
divorces are happening irrespective of love/arrange marriage. if you say yes to someone in arrange marriage, it is hard to backout later on ( hope you understand this). i am meeting my partner but it js hard to judge anyone. in future i see myself as a marriage men only. btw I am a man ( i thought u will understand that will what i mentioned reg drum/ and alimony thing haha )
Please cancel the marriage if you don’t feel anything towards your partner. Post marriage, will become very difficult to sustain
Therapy
Bhai i am not feeling mentally weak or depressed. its just that i am worried about how things will unfold after marriage. considering whatever is happening these days, i didn’t want to get married but this society pressure and loneliness, made me said yes to it and now i am worried about it
You are not alone, brother. Whosoever is living in Tier 1 cities, not only hears about these cases but sometimes sees them around as well e.g. in the office or on dating apps.
I have been going through the same thoughts.
One day, I asked the “What if” question about marriage to one of my mentors.
What he replied changed my mindset: You can’t control everything that’s going to happen in your life, but you can plan it till you are sure that you and your partner are the right match especially in terms of financial planning and live your life.
At the end, whatever is going to happen, will happen, and we can’t fully control it.
Wish you a happy married life ahead.
U don't feel attracted to ur partner? Then y did u agree for marriage? Even in arrange marriage u can't just close your eyes n say yes...it's not 18th century.
Secondly, if u keep thinking only negative then surely ur marriage won't work out. Stop scrolling negative feeds on instagram n news. I am married n my brother is also married. We are happily married in arranged marriage.
We don't know what future holds for anyone so it's pointless to b stressed.
First, read the post again. I never mentioned the word "attraction". I specifically said "emotional feelings." You cannot form an emotional connection with someone this quickly. Thats what I was trying to say :)
Secondly, I agree with your second point. Thanks for sharing your POV. 🙏
Same feeling bro.. My marriage is in April and I am always trying my whole to talk to the girl but we are not vibing..
Determinism is the way of the universe. If something is bound to happen it will. If not this girl, it will happen with the next one too. Relationship is finding happiness in giving to your partner. No good ever comes from just "taking time". You'll have to act, not just go into hiding
Are you seeing any red flags from your partner?
If not, then trust her. Those alimony and divorce cases are rare expections of marriage, you should also see the successful stories of marriages.
I think you should first blindly trust her and give benefit of doubt to her until you see any major red flags which I don’t think will be the case.
So just increase the time you spend with her be it in-person talks or video calls on mobile, you will find this is the best experience of your life. It will also develop strong emotional feelings in both of you which results in strong trust and great mutual understanding.
