Confused!!! Emotional thinking and logical thinking
I’m 29F married and have a one year kid. Me and my husband are both working. We stay with my mother-in-law.
From past few years my sis-in-law became victim of domestic violence so we decided to end her marriage and apply for divorce. She is moving in with us with her 3 year old kid.
We are supportive. My husband’s father has passed away 5 years back so he has to take care of his family. He got married. Took care of sister’s marriage. Built a house at his native. Now he is blaming himself for his sister’s condition because he took the wrong decision to get her married in that family. Also his mother is blaming him now.
These many years we both tried to convince his mother to end sisters marriage and ask her to come stay with us. Finally when the things went out of control she agreed to not to send his sister to inlaws house.
Because of all these responsibilities my husband doesn’t want to have another kid. We planned to buy a house this year and we are postponing it. Since the day we got married he is feeling guilty about the decision he took regarding her marriage.
I’m feeling insecure now. It will impact my kid. How we will be able to take care a family of 4 adults and 2 kids with only 2 people earning in Bangalore city?
All the elder people are telling not to get divorce to my sister in law thinking it will impact my husband and me. But we are not ready to send her back in that hell.
I’m literally confused!!! Want her to get separated but how to survive in Bangalore with family of 6?
Talking product sense with Ridhi
9 min AI interview5 questions
Once divorce finalize, Your SIL will get alimony and maintainance with that you could take care of her and her kid. Your husband's money is anyway enough to take care of your family.
Once dust settles down, slowly re marry her to someone or ask her to focus on her career might get a job or something
Remarry is not an option. We are from a conservative family. Will focus on her career once her kid starts going to school
I think this is a difficult and stressful time for him, his mom n his sister. U need to keep calm and let things settle and take it's course.
Try to be supportive by saying it's not his fault but it's the guy family fault. No one can know all this in advance.
After few months let him know your interests.
Yeah, he is an overthinker. He is providing more than his experience and age.
Getting a lawyer consultation would be good if she can get some alimony . Also it might be a good idea for his sister to work after a few years so it reduces the burden . Also it might be bit tough for a while but eventually you can switch jobs earn better and things will fall into place . And you and your husband deserve appreciation for being good people to help her .
Yeah
So your husband’s mother has no income/pension? And neither has sis-in-law got any earnings? What about sis-in-law’s husband’s earning (chances of getting maintenance post divorce?)
You should have thought of all these aspects before recommending divorce.
Mother has no income, SIL is housewife. Her husband is earning but he is not ready for divorce.
