30F, feeling lost
I feel as if i have lost sense of myself, my life, my thoughts. Not feeling happy at all since long time (years). Friends are there but mostly married now so unable to spend much time with them to address my turmoil. Family is supportive but you can only share so much with family without them worrying a lot.
30F, working in one of the big4 currently, 8+ yrs work ex, one more factor is working in IT has exhausted me a lot, not because of work pressure but also because i never enjoyed coding or IT related stuff. Just went through with it due to friends and continued till now.
Used to be an active athlete and baller, that is also not happening since covid. Not bragging but I really was a good person with useful skills, sometimes worked with HR in some people initiatives and liked that a lot. Volunteered for events and felt happy. Good people and friends also made me happy. But now can’t find many good friends also, mostly people are either busy, or not wanting to invest time to spend.
I used to travel and liked it a lot, but now not sure why i cant enjoy travel also. Dont know why mind feels very heavy. Its like i dont have words to put the feelings in. Like there is no real happiness that i am able to feel.
Sometimes when i try to talk to friends in depth of what i am going through, tears come out on their own. No idea what is the reason behind.
Sometimes on my way to office, when going through uber, the maximum level of bad thoughts cross the mind. Dont want to write the exact words as it is not good thing.
Parents are looking for marriage also, but not able to focus on that also. Want to get married but worried that how will i talk to the guy when i myself am going through unexplainable emotions.
Resigned from my job also because peer is next level toxic and simultaneously made me realize that tech career is not for me in the long run.
Appreciate if any thoughts on handling this phase.
Talking product sense with Ridhi
9 min AI interview5 questions
Take a break. Don’t think much. Just spend few days at a nice place, like Manali, Nainital, Mussoorie.
You need to figure out what you like professionally.
For example, if not coding, many people pivot to BA/TPO/PO roles, where all you do, is meetings, plannings, collaborations- but very little tech work. You need to understand first what you would prefer.
But all that, after a good break.
Don’t beat yourself too much. Many are going through this same phase. Its not you, its them- the organisation- I am noticing that all such dejected stories are almost always from Big4 organisations. People in many other big MNCs, specially product based, don’t even work 8+ hrs, forget toxic people around. So your work place is very important.
Anyway, for now, just stay calm and take a break, and think when you are all cool and calm and happy. Best wishes.
I was about to write this about the big corporates, they end up sucking life out of you. At this point one needs to take a break be it resignation if there's not much responsibilities on you to hold up financially. Not many of us thought of living such a monotonous life when we were growing up as kids. Life in corporate is draining after a point in time.
Don't think much.
Just discipline the life for work life balance.
Spend time with family or small kids for forgetting all worries.
Use pen paper to sort everything and manifest it.
Try to keep all your thoughts positive. All will be well :)
On this upcoming weekend, sit with your thoughts and decide what exactly you want in your life.
I have been feeling that way lately, contemplating how mundane life has become. At the beginning I used to get excited about weekends would go out but since last 1 yr or 2 don't haven't gone out much even during weekends i stay at home. If u detach yourself from the job and feel that life's still wonderful, that you have got a lot in you to do in life and be amazing in some other areas of life, then definitely it's the job that was the problem. I think its more important to listen to yourself at this point of life than just pushing yourself into doing things that don't align with your energy. Hope you do things that make you feel good. Let me know if this thing resonates with you
You need a break. Go for a vacay and Rejuvenate.
And what after coming back from the break? 2 days into your life and you'll be feeling all those emotions back. I get it vacation could make one feel happy about their lives but once you're back to your regular life all the depression sets back in. That's not the final solution
Feeling same just like you 30M don’t know what to do. If you want share and talk please DM
Hey..my dm limit has reached it seems, pls feel free to drop a msg
I once went through this phase where I was not able to control my thoughts. Then I started working out. It helped lot. I suggest you to join yoga classes or any sports related class. You will feel better and also have control on thoughts. When the body is tired, all the energy will be used to recover the body instead of overthinking or any other negative thoughts.
I hope this helps you.
I think you are right, i have been actively involved in sports up until lockdown. But, have you felt that with so many unresolved feelings inside, working out would be able to help? I love athletics to the core but can they help resolving mental health issues?
Never faced/tried it before hence asking
Would highly suggest not to marry in this mental state
It's okay, you're not alone. Plenty of people get burnt out all the time. You just need time off to think about what you really want to do in life regarding work and outside work.
Take a good break, but don't be in the same place/city travel to different place/places which is not crowded and close to nature,try to live as simple as you can live for some time away from any chaos , do some volunteer work,work more on your hobbies after this you will have a lot of memories to to stay happy and work more for things which you like the most.