30-year-old Woman Seeking Marriage: Need Practical Advice on Financial Setbacks in Arranged Marriage Process
I’ve been on the arranged marriage lookout for some time now, and I’ve come to notice a recurring pattern in my experiences that’s starting to get discouraging. Every time I find a profile that looks promising, we connect well, have great compatibility, and even our horoscopes match—everything seems to be going well. But there’s one thing that keeps holding things back: I have a small loan that I took to build a house for my parents. While I’m fully committed to repaying it (I’ve already cleared half, and I plan to settle it in 2-3 years), this financial responsibility has become a dealbreaker for many potential matches.
The irony is that people often admire the fact that I built a house for my parents, appreciating my responsibility and commitment. But despite this praise, they still reject me, citing the same financial concerns. I'm being fully transparent and honest because I believe in establishing a genuine connection. I’m tired of hearing that I’m a genuinely good person, only to be turned away, especially when the expectation is simply to be "a good girl," which I truly am.
It’s starting to feel like this small loan is preventing me from moving forward with good prospects. Has anyone faced a similar situation? How can I present this in a way that alleviates concerns without letting it define my future? Would love some practical advice on how to navigate this hurdle without losing out on good connections. Thanks in advance!
Talking product sense with Ridhi
9 min AI interview5 questions
They are not good prospects if this small loan is their issue. You are better off without them. Keep searching I would say
Thanks for your perspective! I’ve actually accepted profiles where the guy’s salary was lesser than mine, and he came from a humble background, but even then, the financial setback was an issue for them. It didn’t work out. So, I’ve since decided to be more mindful about profiles with lower salaries. The funny thing is, even with upper-middle-class profiles, I’ve faced the same problem—they still expect financial support from me, which creates a similar concern.
That’s why I’m trying to figure out what approach might work best here. I want to find a practical solution that addresses these concerns. Any advice on how to navigate this would be really helpful!
It's easy to write off when one is at a disadvantage. How many women will even consider marrying someone earn less than them? Life cannot be "mera kutha tommy, thumara kutha.. kutha"
This should not matter if you are planing to close this loan in few years. Don't stress about it.
I am sure you must be spending a lot of time, with each of these people. One suggestion, if you are on the matrimony sites, then to make this clear in the profile itself. Also indicating that you are financially independent and will be clearing this loan off on your own.
In India, arranged marriages is a lot about financial parameters. So, it is not surprising that you are going through this. Just a cultural thing.
Also, you have indicated that the loan is small. See if you can reduce the burden. Sometimes, office can give advance salary etc. You can reduce the principal by doing early payment and reduce the outstanding amount. This will reduce the size of the loan burden in the prospective groom's mind.
I wish you good luck 🤞
Wait for the right person and the right time. Dont rush into it. Those who can’t appreciate the financial decisions that you make for yourself will never respect your decision post marriage
The world is running on loans itself .It is absurd that people are running away because of this .Be confident and keep looking ,someone who truly understands you will not have a problem.By the way I am also looking for a good match for marriage .We can connect if it is fine with you .