Why is it Always Me? The one who reaches out
I am 30 years old, not a bad person nor a selfish one. There is one thing that i found in most of my friends. Except 1 or 2, nobody takes the initiative to call me. I have to call. When i call, this are fine and we talk like how it was before. But sometimes i feel, why always me?
I am not a self centred person is telling that everyone has to call me. Its is just that 2/5 times , i should get a call back.
Sometimes i think that i am a boring person and thats the reason. Sometimes i feel that my presence were not valued. Or may be they are busy. This is happening both with married and unmarried friends.
I used to fell bad earlier but now i dont mind. But i want to know the reason and thats the reason that i am writing here.
Or is it something that is normal?
It's normal I also call the people to talk. Nobody cares nowadays.
May be we should all form a group and talk😂. My father is engineer passed out in 1977. Sometimes, i feel jealous of his college group. They are still in touch with each other. Every year, i met at some place and they do help each other if someone is in need of a help.
Old time people were good. Now my friends call only when they want referral or any other work
It is normal. People get busy, friends move on, just get used to it. You can rarely have friends for life, even if you have for now, they will marry and move on, or they will move to different country for work and forget about you, or they will get too busy in work…. lots of reasons, so basically, just get used to it, this is how the life is, people just move on and have to keep moving on.
True
Oh I can go full rant on this.
But do you have people who want to talk to you, and then you are the one avoiding them? Like uno reverse? You may not even give them a second thought irl?
I dont avoid anyone who comes to talk to me, but i have completely cut off of people whom i tried contacting for around 6 months but then doesn't care about of calling once. I have seen their pics hanging out with other people in instagram. And there are other group who calls only if they need to borrow money from me. These two groups, i have deleted their numbers and cut off from all social media platforms
As the friend who never calls by himself... I cannot tell you how guilty I feel and how lucky I feel that I have friends (similar to you) who still for some reason call me... and I love that they do
You are an overthinker probably. This is just a phase. Doesn't mean anything. With time friends circle shrinks. The professional circle becomes larger.
Mostly priorities change and when money comes into play the behaviour changes . It's always like you should have few friends who can help you and you too do the same. If you are friends with everyone then you are just being social and nobody is really your friend. Good friends are hard to find and it's always two ways . Hope you will find them or already have them in your life .
This is normal for adults.
Don't let the ego come in between.
If you are having time to make the call then you should do it.
If not you can skip, don't follow it as a rigorous rule.
My friend circle le has been non-existent since the pandemic, especially after I lost a brother to cancer in 2020. I am at the stage where I'm getting happy when I get spam calls, as someone out there is thinking about me (apart from my mother, that is).
I face same problem
I'm on the other side of the table. I don't understand social cues and relationships. So I follow this. Be good with everyone, if you like someone's company, let them know it and ensure when they connect, give them the time. I feel like I'm disturbing them hence I don't initiate conversations
