Why is Hookup still a taboo?
I don’t get it….why do Indian men still treat hookups as a sin? I had some intimate moments with some of my dates…I don’t get emotionally attached to them…but some men can’t handle my past…
Why can’t we think openly and be more accepting? Instead of judging…shouldn’t we accept the fact that some people don’t prefer a long term relationship….
why do you want to cry about it, if someone is not accepting, don't associate with them, find someone who is ok with it
The point is I want understand why it’s still a taboo, I never said I am looking for a solution…just looking for some perspective
I am an Indian woman, I don't like hookups, I wouldn't like a man who does hookups because that's not my preference, but I support others' mentality. It's a choice. The choice should be clearly communicated with the partner beforehand, to avoid further issues.
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Would u also dislike a man who is a hormonger? It's transactional.
It can be a post for engagement post but in today’s society its true.Up to a certain age, it’s fine to explore and make mistakes. But after a point, people start looking for stability, clarity and a meaningful future.
When someone says “some men can’t handle my past”, often it simply means those men want a reliable, emotionally mature partner for a long-term life.
The past matters..not to judge, but to understand patterns. Just like in trading, we study history because behaviour tends to repeat and human behaviour repeats for sure.
Life is much bigger than short-term attraction, pleasure or money.
With age, what truly matters is emotional maturity and the ability to build something lasting.
People nowadays lack clarity, you are just hollow inside …
Its not gender based , its just human behaviour that has been going on since thousands of years.
It is so dumb to single out “Indian men” here.Hook-up culture may sound Western, but even in the West you will find many thinkers and philosophers who speak deeply about emotions, commitment and the true meaning of love. And have you seen hook up cultures after marriage in western ?If you are unable to feel emotions at all , the problem lies within you …. not in others , isn’t it?
Mistakes have a limit. There are unreversible mistakes. Some lakshman reka should never be crossed.
Some how all the "explore", "live your life" is just limited to bed and couch. I never heard women talk about how they should study for UPSc and become IAS, marry early and grow along with a partner, study ayurveda,... None of that is ever talked.
Explore, have fun, find a well settled simp marry him drive away his parents, etc....
Feminism will grow until men stop smiping.
I am a woman and I don't understand hookup culture or let's put it as "intimacy without any affection or emotions". But it's onto you and people who prefer it that way, I won't judge. But for Me it's a NO, when I consider my partner.
To give you a perspective it doesn't feel natural and it is morally not correct. Just my personal opinion. I can't find myself being intimate without being fully emotionally attached, that is I feel safe, admired and loved.
Hooking up also messes us up mentally and emotionally, it is tough to find the emotional intimacy after getting along with multiple people.
Okay, that’s a way to look at it. I understand your point, but the thing is you are at least not being offensive about the culture, but here you see people suddenly take a stance against it. That’s not a good behaviour that shows that how sexually impressed they are…
Indian men is not a monolith. There are some who are more liberal and open minded. And there are some who are more conservative and judgmental.
Both these kinds of people exist among women too.
So stay away from conservative and judgmental people in general, and this is a good universal strategy not just for living in India, but in any country in the world
But the problem is that you have an influence of society on everything you want to do…if I am living in a rental apartment… I have to adhere to misogynistic rules that always favour a particular group of people..similarly these people try to make your life miserable in so many ways you can’t imagine…
Earlier there was an incident where a fashion show in Rishikesh was hackled by a bunch of men were moral policing few fashion show participants…
In such cases it’s easier for us to casually comment they you did… but you need to understand from my perspective as well…
you do what you feel is right , and find your own tribe ;Aren't you being narrow minded & less open by expecting others to agree to your mindset; the world is the way it is;
We always need a discussion and a dialogue. We need to discuss why it’s a taboo and why people are less accepting that is what I want. I’m not saying that I am write hundred percent of the time, but at least we need to have a conversation around it and let’s not be very offensive about it.
Most of that discussion will lead to both parties throwing mud at each other feeling holier than thou ; people believe what they believe - some of it is just hardwired by dna or conditioning , you solving the why will probably not help you; many men are polygamous, yet that is looked at differently; men & women are different and what's desirable as a trait in one might not be desirable as a trait in another ; eg most women like muscular men - that's just hardwiring you can't reason against
Just another ragebait 💁♀️
Just another troll…
I do not have a strict problem with hookup culture, but if you’re involved in hookups, why can’t you be in a long-term relationship or marriage with someone like that?
The problem arises when you start looking for a man with high self-esteem, respect, moral values, and principles. Men like this won’t feel the need to accept any past. I mean, why would they want to accept it? When everyone knows that people don’t really change. If you use some common sense, you can easily verify this from a few threads in this post that people don't change.
It goes without saying but I need to mention it anyways that this applies to men too.
I think you are mistakenly saying that people with high morals high self-esteem won’t accept this. This actually shows your lack of understanding towards what relationships are. You clearly don’t understand that people who have high self-esteem would be more accepting towards the choices. A person makes so it’s not like that. If a person has a high self-esteem would not be able to accept someone’s past, that person will be more open and more acceptable towards someone else choice I think the problem is with your mentality. You cannot accept the fact that someone can have more than one relationships and that too very casual ones. So when people do this things invest, you don’t have a problem. When men do this thing you don’t have a problem. You only have a problem and woman does this this is most probably a kind of a jealousy that people have because everyone wants to be part of it, but hardly there are few people who get to do this.
So let’s not be very personal about this and try to label these things in this manner. Let’s try to be more accepting towards the fact that a person might be exploring different type of relationships and that’s totally fine in the society. We should not be saying that someone has high standards or high morals would never be willing to do this. I mean see the thing is it clearly shows the lack of understanding towards how an intimacy even Works I mean you are maybe not able to understand these things because you either had very few relationships, or you were not able to comprehend that how your friends were able to get to do these kind of things.
Its a taboo because looseness in character is an overall unpleasant trait. Otherwise we would not hold drunkards and drug doers with contempt either
See, that’s the problem. It’s not like looseness in character is an unpleasant trade. It’s an unpleasant trade. According to you. It’s your opinion it’s your thinking you are trying to say that whatever you think is considered as the ultimate judgement. That’s the kind of attitude patriarchal society have, we should be thinking more openly about these things and saying looseness is itself is a problem. It shows that how you think about someone else, preference of relationship. It’s it’s really hard for men like you to understand what it takes to be in a relationship and it’s not like a rule to be in a relationship for a very long time.
You never question those men who are also involved in hook up, but always try to think about looseness of a woman that’s the problem with your judgement, and that is why your judgement can’t be considered as a fair judgement.
