What's your love language?
So this is from this book called The Five Love Languages...
I haven’t read the book and do not honestly know of the author emphasises on choosing just one, because I think all of them are good to have. But here’s my take on this :
Order would be :
- Quality time and quality Conversations in general- The two must spend a lot of time together. That’s the step one of falling in love to, spending quality time together and getting to know each other inside out. To discover about how they see their future, to know about their stories from childhood and from the funny and traumatic past, and everything that bothers them or makes them happy in the presence.
Where and how to spend the quality time, that kind of varies from person to person I would say.
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Then comes Acts of service and words of affirmation :
Actions always speak louder than words. Especially when the actions are consistent. Being a giver this has always been the best way for me to express myself as much as possible not only in the forms of words but more in the form of actions. A simple flower a weeek when you meet, assuring them that they are capable of dealing with whatever that is bothering them, that there is nothing that they cannot do if they want to do something, cooking a meal for them, blah blah blah. -
Then would come gifting : Gifting is very very personal to me. I do not get gifts often but whenever I get them, I have an emotional value attached to them over the material value. That applies even more when it comes to gifting someone. Writing someone a letter about them, or remembering something that they mentioned in a sleepy tone that they would like this T-shirt and 6 months later….surprise. Using all the things that they have mentioned in the past and picking up the best suitable thing for them even if it’s just hair clips they wanted.
Gifting is never about materialistic things, always about the intention ✨✨. -
Physical touch : I honestly have not much to say about this, no experience here.😂😭😂😭😂😭😂☹️😥
5 . One thing that’s missing here but is important for me when it comes to expressing love is : Wishing and praying for them. This goes beyond words of affirmation.
When you are truly in love, you start praying for their good, you pray so as to ease them from all of the burdens that they carry and the struggles that they are going through. It’s probably the highest form of nascent love✨✨✨.
And I know remember the question was about “what would my love language be”. To be honest, it’s rare to find it all in one person and choosing one is not enough…but the highest would be quality time for sure, followed by acts of service.
- I've also just started reading this book.. he has written real world experiences of couples that caused things to not work and when they seek counselling things improved a lot.. so I know it varies p to p but since I'll be getting married some day... So just thought of reading these experiences from books...
- yes one can have all above or none, it depends on circumstances, behaviour and connection that we establish over time...
Oh. I have been also wanting to read this book, but because of some recent disturbance in the weather I have prioritised some other books and unfortunately, this book will have to wait for me. But it definitely is something I would like to read sometime soon.
Do share your thoughts and review on this though😊
@JudiciousCarol as some one who is married for almost a decade let me say this- the priority of love language will change as you move in life. Quality time will possibly always be in the top 2-3 but rank 1 will change from physical touch early on to words of affirmation to even receiving gifts. But later in life once you have kids, parents age, Acts of Service will steadily climb ranks and possibly stay #1 for a fair amount of time. :)
@StressedDonut First of all congratulations that you have come happily this far and wish you many more happy years ahead.. 🎉
The evolution of love languages which you have mentioned is actually organic and well put heart 😊
Just a curious question: Why did you keep stressed in your name 🤔?
What people do in Quality time ?
There is no standard definition but conversation, watching a good movie, singing or dancing.. there can be so many things which can come under this umbrella according to me..
Not according to the book because I'm yet to read how the author has defined quality time..
Fax 🫡
