What are girls doing?
One of my office colleagues is getting married soon. During lunch today, we were discussing his wedding preparations. He mentioned that he is planning to take a loan for his marriage, which really shocked me. Out of curiosity, I asked him why he needed a loan.
He explained that his fiancée and her family want a grand wedding, including a pre-wedding photo shoot, and they are expecting more than 2,000 guests. I then asked him why, after earning for almost eight years, they hadn’t saved enough money. He replied that he had saved and invested his earnings in building a house and repaying existing loans.
When I asked about his fiancée’s savings, he said that she spends all her income on herself and has not contributed financially to her family, even though they have loans. Over the last seven years, she has earned around ₹90–95 lakhs, which, according to him, has mostly been spent on parties, makeup, travel, and other personal expenses. He had to leave in a hurry, so the conversation ended there.
Later, another colleague and I continued discussing this topic. I shared my confusion about how someone could earn so much money and not help their family financially. His response surprised me even more. He said that his wife earned around ₹1.5 crore in the last four years, but she spent all of it on herself. They do not own a house or a car, and this issue causes frequent arguments between them. According to his wife, fulfilling family responsibilities is the man’s duty, and her income is meant only for her personal needs. Each days she orders 3-4 dress from Myntra and never repeat clothes, 1 room is only filled with her clothes and shoes. And many received dresses packets are not even opened even after 1 year of delivery. If he ask something on this, she starts fighting over this and always blame him for not able to buy a car for her.
Out of further curiosity, I spoke to a few more married men, and many shared similar experiences. They said that most of their wives’ earnings are spent on personal expenses rather than contributing to family needs. Of course, there are women who do contribute financially to their families, but based on these discussions, their number seems comparatively small. One colleague said that his wife paid the down payment for their car, and because of this, he always has to ask his wife for permission to use the car for his own use and for his parents’ family needs.
This made me wonder why some women do not want to share family responsibilities financially. If both partners are earning and contributing, a family can achieve financial stability and freedom much earlier.
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Educated women also know about money if men are after looks and nothing else how will finance be discussed that shud be a major thing to be asked
I’ve been married since May 2025. From the first month itself, I asked my husband to let me share financial responsibility because I wanted to contribute. He refused and said, “Your money is for the future—just invest.” So I did.
He pays rent and household expenses mainly for his family. I’ve never asked him to buy me gifts or even small things. Yet after a few months, in front of his family, he started saying that after marriage he can’t invest and doesn’t know where his money goes—indirectly blaming marriage, and by extension, the wife.
Not every increase in expenses is because of a woman.
Women today work full-time and manage the home too. That itself is a contribution. I always believed in “our money,” never “my money vs his.” But after 1.5 years, I’ve been pushed to think about my money separately—not by choice, but by reality.
So when women protect their finances and stay independent, it’s not selfishness. Sometimes it’s necessary self-respect. Every story has two sides.
Maybe all he needs is a reassurance that your money is being invested for not just you but for his future too. Involve him in the investment plannings and make him feel secured.
The author described women who spends everything without saving anything for themselves or the husband. There, it doesn't look like there are 2 sides to the story, just toxic entitlement. Not all but many such women are popping up.
Before marriage, many men have fewer responsibilities, so it feels easier to save money. After marriage, expenses increase because they now support both their wife and family. Because of this, savings may not look the same as before.
This does not always mean the husband is blaming his wife. Often, it happens because his financial plans are not going as expected, which creates stress and silent fear.
In such situations, it is better to talk calmly. Sitting together and writing down expenses can help both understand where the money is going and see that it is not being wasted.
Since your side money is going in saving and investment, it is also important to explain politely that savings are still happening through investments. Showing numbers and current savings can give reassurance. This is possible because the husband is managing household expenses, and that effort should be acknowledged.
Marriage works best when money matters are handled together. Protecting personal finances is important, but thinking in terms of ‘me vs you’ can create distance. Understanding, communication, and teamwork help both the relationship and finances.
You are not looking at other side of the coin.
Maybe in the cases you are talking about, women are living with husband's parents, or doing all house chores alone??
If yes then the men have to provide money. If the chores are divided, then women have to contribute financially.
But most often, men don't do any housechores and they also live with their parents. That's the problem.
All the women being talked about here are working women, and most of them also have a maid at home.
Regarding the second point: if a woman is living with her husband’s parents, then the husband naturally has to support the whole family financially. Can you help me where a woman's salary will be used? They are just spending on parlors, makeup, dresses and totally unnecessary things and blaming their husbands for not having a big car or big house. In many cases, before marriage, women do not financially support their own parents either.
Also, we are not living in the old era. Today, I see that most of my male friends do more household work than women. Along with this, their responsibilities have increased a lot. They drop their wives to work, help at home, and manage many daily tasks.
Many working women do not have basic life skills such as driving, cooking, or managing finances. As a result, even when the woman is working, most of these responsibilities fall on the man.
In many cases, when women are working, they do not want to do household work, and the man ends up handling both professional and household responsibilities.
You are assuming rationality both ways.
I know for a fact have good stories of joint financial responsibility in my circle. This ain’t a pattern. It is possible that you are in a circle that’s somehow choosing for vanity.
The question to ask as well is what has been done to accept this in first place.
Heck the best you can do here is ensure you choose wisely :)
He still has time to get out of trap
Court Marriage should be the Litmus Test for you seeking out your partner.
If you're just an ATM (Male) or Household Helper (Female), reconsider your choices honestly.
I know a few cases of good marriage coming out only after famine/poverty hits.
Also I don't understand the huge spending on marriages in India
You are falling into 2 traps one is loan and other is that idiot girl
Experienced the same with my brother-in-law's wife. She earns a few pennies and does not spend a single rupee for family and expects thousands of money to be spend by her husband on her shopping in her parlour as “it's a man's duty”. Doesn't contribute in anything not financially not in household work.