ZoomyCoconut
ZoomyCoconut

Unfair stage of life

Life has been so damn unfair lately. Got divorce within a year of marriage. Lost all the savings and currently in a debt trap. No shoulder lend on, just the work life that motivates to clear away the loans.

5mo ago
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CosmicMarshmallow
CosmicMarshmallow

I agree that it was your family’s hard earned money that your wife has taken in the form of jewellery. However, these laws are made because marital disputes take an emotional toll(for life) on women which the men usually don’t have to go through. So, these laws are meant to secure women.

It would really be helpful if you put yourself in the shoes of your wife and try to see how she has lived her life since her birth till today. And how she has to continue living. Upon close inspection you may find that there are so many things that a woman has to go through in the name of patriarchy and the marriage is her security against the world. The world in general, is very much cruel to single women rather than single men. At every step, women are asked about their husband.

I am giving answer based on what happens in general. Your situation may be an exception. I’m no one to judge it.

JumpyWalrus
JumpyWalrus

Shut up. No one is comparing ones pain. Your partner should be very happy listening to this blabbering.

QuirkyMuffin
QuirkyMuffin

A min silence for the people around you

PeppyPretzel
PeppyPretzel

I too got divorced within a year of marriage, for me the court case went on for 3 years. Those were the most stressful years of my life.

ZoomyCoconut
ZoomyCoconut

How much alimony you gave

BubblyUnicorn
BubblyUnicorn

Sorry to hear this, can you @Aspirer1 , @AppleManiac please let us know if you can , what issues lead to divorce or differences , that separations are happening within a year. Were women here educated ? Working? IT? Men?

WigglyBagel
WigglyBagel

@AppleManiac
What would you suggest to someone who's gonna most probably tie knot in next 1 - 2 year, in an arranged marriage setup. How to not find the person who'll leave in a year!!

ZoomyCoconut
ZoomyCoconut

Just to get to know the person in and out, dont do anything in a hurry, take your time and find a compatible person

JazzyPancake
JazzyPancake

Find someone who you or your family knows. Someone that can't get away with this kind of behaviour. Don't marry from matrimonial websites.

BouncyCupcake
BouncyCupcake

Hey! Divorce + debt trap + no support system - that’s a brutal combination. Your nervous system is probably in constant survival mode right now.

Press Pause on calling this “unfair.” Life handed you a really tough situation, but you’re still standing and working to dig out of it. That takes serious strength.

The debt from divorce is more common than people talk about. Legal fees, splitting assets, starting over - it destroys finances quickly. You’re not the first person to get financially wrecked by divorce.

Right now your only focus needs to be: clear the debt, rebuild stability. Everything else - dating, social life, big dreams - can wait. This is triage mode.

Small reality check: having “just work life” for motivation isn’t pathetic, it’s practical. Sometimes survival is the only goal, and that’s okay.

The isolation sucks, but you literally don’t have bandwidth for much else right now. Once you’re financially stable again, you can rebuild other parts of your life.

You’re not behind in life - you’re recovering from a major setback. Different timeline, not failure.

We have people sharing similar debt recovery and post-divorce rebuilding strategies: https://link.elfinahealth.com/presspause

One step at a time yaar. You’ll get through this.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

ZoomyCoconut
ZoomyCoconut

Thanks

WobblyWaffle
WobblyWaffle

Is this AI generated? I think I have seen these lines during my deep talks around therapy with ChatGPT

WigglyRaccoon
WigglyRaccoon
Student5mo

Sorry to hear this OP. I hope and pray you immerse yourself and get busy in work to lessen the pain

SnoozyWalrus
SnoozyWalrus

How much you paid alimony @AppleManiac . Also happy to help you in whatever way possible.

ZoomyCoconut
ZoomyCoconut

Around 2l she took away all the gold

SleepyPanda
SleepyPanda

@HelpfulWoodwind Please stay single in life and save a guy’s life ,,

JumpyLlama
JumpyLlama
EY5mo

Sad bro, you are doomed.

ZoomyCoconut
ZoomyCoconut

Unfortunately I am

ZoomyNugget
ZoomyNugget

You're sooo correct @AppleManiac! It is unfair. Brutally so. Life can be unpredictable and merciless at times. But unfair is also the forge. This season will scar you, yes but it will also shape you into someone debt cannot crush and loss cannot silence.

Keep walking. Even if it’s only work that carries you, let it carry you until you carry yourself again. Don’t let this storm eat you whole.Cut every unnecessary expense, survival mode is not forever. Keep a second stream of income alive, even if tiny. Momentum matters. Build your circle again - mentors, friends, even strangers. What do you have to lose? Shoulders exist, sometimes where you least expect.

Pain will pass. Discipline will remain. Because it really can, if you have the capability and sheer aura and courage to challenge yourself fiercely. That’s how you turn “unfair” into unfinished.

ZestyPickle
ZestyPickle

been there, still recovering. Just believe in yourself- you traded peace for yourself and your family, instead of circling in courts, where justice is in no sight- esp for husbands.

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