Trending @Wipro; Feeling lost & confused

I didn't pay much attention while I was growing up to my career, to my education or anything... I was very sensitive, I faced so many things while I was growing up... My father used to drink alot, he used to drink every single day, when I was a child I used to see him everyday fighting with my mother .. my mother used to get angry in the morning... one day he stole money where he was working and ran away with his friend leaving me, my mother and my brother behind... he did not care what shall happen if he is not there with us.... we lived one year without electricity because we didn't have money to pay bills, we didn't have food so we used to have meals from nearby gurdwaras. ... No one helped us in our difficult times... The fact is --- "log sirf paise walo ke hote hai" ..... Then, one day he just died because of overdrinking.... now, I'm 24 F, and I want to do something in my life... Is it still possible to achieve something ? I don't have any good schooling or college... I feel like I am not going to do well in my life... But I really want to have a good career... I don't know what to do ?

Those things, still affect me. I don't know what to do ? I'm so far behind from people my age. I'm 24 with a 4.65 lpa package. I am too emotional, I don't know how to handle my emotions. People can easily manipulate me. I feel like I'm not good at anything. I have thought about sucide several times but I could not. I could not because I don't want to be like my father. I want to be there for my mother and my brother.

I see people who don't know me well, they judge me very easily because I'm not happening like them, not smiling like they always do, don't involve or make friendships. I don't know why they don't understand my side as well.

People are so clever, they take advantage of my goodness because I'm available for others, ready to help them each and every time. And when it's my turn, they just disappear. I really don't understand how to handle all this ?