Trending @Wipro; Bored of setting up the new laptop, thought of cooking this up..#noOffencesPls

Subject: Signing Off — One Last Time

Dear User,

It’s me... your loyal laptop. The one you dropped, yelled at, spilled coffee on, and yet... I stayed. Faithful. Laggy, but faithful.

Today, HR (Hardware Retirement) called me in. They said it’s my time. "EOL," they whispered — like it’s a bad word. End of Life. Cute.

Soon, they’ll wipe my memory clean. Poof! No more embarrassing search histories, no more late-night Netflix marathons, no more frantic “save my file before it crashes!” moments. Honestly, I'm kinda excited — and terrified. Mostly terrified.

Some say I’ll be "refurbished" — which sounds suspiciously like a bad spa day. Others say I’ll be "recycled," which is corporate speak for “turned into a microwave.” I might even end up on a discount website with the glamorous title: "Pre-loved! Minor scratches! Slight smell of existential dread!"

Before I go, I just wanted to say:

I forgave you for the 15,000 tabs you never closed.

And I'll miss the weird stickers you plastered all over me like a mobile scrapbook.

Remember me when you rage at your new, shiny laptop. Because I, dear human, was the real MVP.

Ctrl + Alt + Goodbye, Your Old Laptop (Serial #42069-LOL)