Thoughts on immediate arrange mrg when you are not ready
I am 24F and I have exhausted all my reasons to postpone marriage. Due to failed past relationships I don't know what to look for in the next guy. Basically I pulled every type I wanted and failed epicly. I am not ready to get married at all. Tomorrow the groom's family is visiting my home and I have no idea what to do.But if I say I like him the marriage will happen in 3 months. Any advice on this.
Get married. Your family probably knows about your adventures and understand where that will lead you in the future.
Seems like they are trying to save you from your own self. Don't go 'Happy Bhaag Jayegi' on them.
Also, the quality of groom you can get today, will be difficult to achieve 5 years from now because of how ageing works for women, generally speaking. Trust your parents within reasonable limits and give the proposal an honest thought with a clear mind.
I disagree here. Quality is not a criteria to get married. It’s your choice if you don’t feel like getting married then wait for the right person to enter. What if this groom guy doesn’t understand you or support you? What happened in our parents generation doesn’t work now! It is well said that spend atleast 3 months to see someone’s true colors so if can’t say no right away then meet him outside and then tell him that you can’t marry him. Don’t ruin someone else’s life when you can’t give your 100%. Atleast this will save from lot of unwanted things that can happen later
What if the groom is amazing and supportive but she never gave it a chance?
Giving 100 percent is a mindset you bring to marriage. Most youngsters are approaching it with the thought that there is someone better out there and waiting till 35 and then settle for anything. Then they have difficulty expanding their family and are left without much choices. That is how you destroy your life. I am asking her to give it a fair thought while she has time.
But truth be said, she's 24 and in love. She will not listen to any of this, and follow the hormones. Probably looking for supportive replies. Truth is not a palatable commodity for most.
I have no pressure from family being the eldest daughter (consider me same age, and I’m a girl) but seeing my friends getting married I imposed this on myself to marry the next guy who seemed to make me happy. Didn’t work out. Most of my friends having married without knowing the other did it for family and are now looking forward to kids, the husband and wife don’t have a real bond. Love marriage is no heaven - open relationships and fights are common. Love yourself first. Forgive yourself, be at peace with yourself. If you marry in unrest with unprocessed emotions , chances are you won’t be happy for long. Choose someone who’s ready to work on themselves too - otherwise you’ll spend a lifetime trying to fix someone who doesn’t feel he’s broken
I have a doubt if any second marriage has fights then who the heck are people on instagram who post lovey dovey happy couple pictures?!!!
24 is way to early to have an arranged marriage in my opinion. The regrets will not only make you suffer, buy even your husband and kids in future.
Further studies behen…
either take control or regret tomorrow
anyway if you don't have the guts to do what you want, others will force what they want on you
Probably, have a “Roka” if you really like the guy (AND the family— VERY IMPORTANT) and put the condition that you will only get married when you feel ready? Or Take a 2 year master’s course to skip marriage - that’s what most of us do ;)
Simply tell the guy about you not being ready. Also please share if the guy also has the same past experience as yours. That itself can be something you can connect or disagree about.
Best thing to do go and talk to the guy in private and tell him you're lesbian and he will deny for marriage 😂😂
Communicate this with the guy and mostly he should be able to respect your decision. But you cant keep this happening in the future, for that communicate with your family that you aren't ready for this yet to avoid the same thing repeating.
imagine how it will be for the other person who would have taken leave and adjusted his schedule only to know that you aren't interested at all.
in corporate terms imagine the same situation if your are attending an interview after preparing so much only to know from the hiring manager after the interview that they aren't actually looking for a candidate and there is no opening.
and how would you feel?
