QuirkyPretzel

[story time]How I embarrassed a guy,who categorised women into pure/impure based on their virginity

I just typed all this as a comment, but then I thought this story deserves more attention and since I have already done the hardwork of typing all this, why not post it

[Context] I have never dated my whole life, so basically I'm like a magnet for these kinda guys who are looking for a "pure, sanskaari" girl

So there was this guy in our friend group who left his girlfriend because she wasn't a virgin and apparently the only thing he wanted from his future wife was to be a virgin lol (such a lie), I hate guys with this mentality and what's worse was the fact that he told other people that his ex isn't a virgin and used to talk shit about her character infront of our group

So when I found out he was into me, I wanted to mess with him

We were all discussing about what we want from our future partners, and he was like she has to be Shareef and hasn't slept around blah blah blah and he just can't love a girl who has slept with another guy and how it's disgusting more blah blah blah

Then it's my turn to describe what I don't want in a guy and I start my monologue

(I know this guy has made out with a couple of his previous girlfriend's and that he has atleast 3 ex's at this point, he hasn't had sex yet but he has definitely done a lot of things other than that.... Where as I hadn't even kissed a guy yet)

So this is what I said.... I want a guy who's fresh YK... Like who's never even dated before... I want to be his first love, in my opinion... Guys who have dated more than 2/3 girls are just not capable of that kind of pure fresh love anymore.... And I want my guy to be untouched, I can't imagine him kissing someone other than me.... Imagine the girl he kissed and all that saliva from her mouth into his mouth... Yuckkkkk, I would never feel comfortable kissing a guy who has done anything indecent with a girl before.... It's just my personal opinion, no offence but even imagining it makes me feel yuck... I want a pure guy who has never dated anyone before me... I wan

12mo ago

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SquishyPenguin

Persistent Systems12mo

Its his choice...he can have his criteria. If you start judging him based on this then same will be applied on you later. Lets take example, u rejecred a guy with less salarg than yours and he starts calling you gold digger..and start writing a post about it and whine like u are doing it now🙃...not rational.

ZippyPotato

Accenture12mo

Seems like you are on some hard drugs buddy. I hope no woman marries you. Such hypocrisy.

If a guy sleeps around then he’s a player and if a girl does the same then she’s a slut?

Grow up, this isn’t tere baap ki dukaan, okay?

SquishyPenguin

Persistent Systems12mo

Dont assume things..i never talked about guy sleeping around is good. People do lot of shit and everyone has a choice to reject someone based on their criteria. If any chick rejects some guy cause he dated too many chicks. I am fine with that.

SleepyBagel

London Stock Exchange12mo

My god. So many comments about "it's his choice/criteria", this society has rotten to hell at this point. And these are people who are educated and work in top firms with top salary. Can't even imply lack of education. It's just straight mtsogyny. If i need you to even start explaining why the guy was wrong, i shouldn't even be talking to you.

PrancingNarwhal

Meesho12mo

Very respectfully can you go through my comment above and let me know what you feel about it.

I'm genuinely interested to know/learn your perspective on how having a choice can be misogynistic.

PS: I myself have no such virgin/non-virgin reservations. Love is more important.

SleepyBagel

London Stock Exchange12mo

Okay sure. Happy to explain my reasoning here. The problem here is not choice. Problem here is the underlying thought of making that choice. Thinking of getting a 6ft+ guy could have an underlying thought of looking good as a couple. Which isn't problematic. Getting a rich husband could have an underlying thought of getting a comfortable lifestyle. Which isn't problematic. But imagine choosing to get only a Brahmin (or some caste) as your partner, it's still a choice, but the underlying thought is casteism. And that's wrong. Same way rejecting someone because someone's not a virgin and choosing someone who's a virgin has an underlying thought of thinking of them as lesser person or slutshame them. This what is called "objectification" of a woman. Where your thought process is they were "used" by someone else. And how can someone certainly believe the guy isn't virgin? Can't really know it in the case of a guy, can easily get away with lying, and I know a lot of such cases. If STD is the real issue, I don't think that's a big deal to get tested if you love the person.

PrancingNarwhal

Meesho12mo

So now we are bashing people for having a choice of whom they want to date/marry?

Who are we to judge someone? Their life, their choice.

I'll although definitely bash a boy/girl who lies about their past to deceive someone. It was your choice to have a past which is fine, but you're not allowed to make a choice for your partner, let them decide.

It's fine if a 5 feet person wants a 6ft+ partner. It's fine if an unemployed person wants to marry a rich spouse. It's fine if a person wants their spouse to be of some specific pedigree/academic background. Similarly, It's fine if a person wants to have a spouse with no past. It's their CHOICE.

Some of these people like you mentioned are hypocrites, but it still is their CHOICE.

And if they and their future spouse are fine with the equation, why do we have to behave like nosy aunties in their matter.

However, Lying about your income in matrimonial alliance is a red flag
Lying about your sexual orientation to your partner is a red flag. Similarly, Lying about your past to your potential partner is a huge RED FLAG.

This applies to both boys and girls.

Hope I was logical throughout

BubblyBiscuit

Stealth12mo

This seems fair, one of the more rational takes here.

TwirlyBoba

Stealth12mo

Going through these comments made me realise grapevine is just a big sausage fest. Here is my thought: Most men here with their ‘preferences’ are just insecure little shits and are worried about past partners because they know they can’t satisfy their partners needs like someone else might have :))

SquishyPenguin

Persistent Systems12mo

@LegalizeSlavery when women have pref its fine. When men have pref, they are insecure little shit..nice🤣. Tell this to yourself when u think of finding guy taller than you, richer than you and when u look your face apply hell lot of makeup on your face before going out 😁...what made you so insecure. Help yourself...

TwirlyBoba

Stealth12mo

I’m lucky to have a partner who doesn’t think like you and other misogynistic men here. These ‘preferences’ you guys keep shouting about are not the same as slutshaming women for their choices. It’s just another way to put down and objectifying women in the name of preferences. OP clearly said the guy was insulting and talking shit in front of other people about his ex and none you piece of shit men paid any attention to that and call it ‘preferences’

SillyNoodle

Trellix12mo

😂😂😂.

Perf. I'd have paid to see the look on his face.

QuirkyCupcake

Infosys12mo

Both of you go study, don't post from your parents account

SillyBoba

Amazon12mo

All the best to both finding a life partner, with this mindset.

DerpyJellybean

Publicis Sapient12mo

@FlatLatte It seems I am that guy whom you want😬

ZestyTaco

Stealth12mo

😂😂😂😂😂

ZippyBagel

Student12mo

I get thoughts like this as well where I want my wife to not have slept around ...but then I go ahead and have sex and see how much overrated it is and how I don't think it's a big part of my life ...I like jerking off more than sex ...I hope I get a wife who is not emotionally attached to any of her exs and just let's me jerk off in peace after marriage

ZippyBagel

Student12mo

Sex as an activity in itself is so not that great maybe because of the huge expectations...in the middle of it I'm imagining is this what I'm chasing so much it's so boring...I figured the chase is what matters and is fun and not the actual sex part

JumpyTaco

Stealth12mo

So did he like taste of his own medicine?😂 I want to know what was his response to this 😂

ZippyMochi

Stealth12mo

Same lol

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