For context: https://share.gvine.app/5yy7tXm8yiosXpJ2A
Tomorrow is my father’s annual death ritual (shraddh) and here I am sitting in Bangalore all alone thinking of my life choices!
My mom and sister, both are not talking to me. Few days back, my mom messaged me to come for rituals and be there. I have planned for it and got my tickets booked for 17th (today) afternoon. I was bit relaxed with it!
I updated her on WA that I will come and be there. Next day, she messaged me again and said, “you need not come. I had a chat with Pandit ji and he said you have no right to do the rituals, so don’t come”. I called her and cried but she still said to not come.
I texted her that there is no rule where I can not do rituals for my father, but she said that Pandit ji said and she will not let me do it. I can do it whereever I want but at home. She said you, “tumhari wajah se mera sir sabke samne jhuk gya” and that’s it. Don’t come to disrespect me more.
After all this I am continuously thinking what to do? Whether I should go, not go. All Ifs and Buts. Last mid night I cancelled my tickets and here I am just alone in Bengalore.
Continuously thinking why ? What I can do? What I should do?
Marrying somebody of your choice comes with so much pain, why?
Sometime I think, I should go there and be there, but then I think it will put them in pain and should let them process it.
Not sure how I am going to handle all this? Not able to enjoy my life! Stress keeps on growing!
I have been following your story from the beginning..so my 2 cents..
If you want / feel like doing it.. no1 can stop you.. Find a pandit in the city you are in.. they will tell you all details.. please go ahead with the rituals.. I would suggest take few pics too.. share it with your mom and sister and tell.. I felt like doing the rituals..for my father so I did..I would have liked that we would all have been together to do it.. to remember our loved ones.. Baaki sab bhool jao..you can't be responsible for others decision or actions... you have tried your best
If you are the eldest son of family nobody can take your rights to do tarpan. Consult a better pandit and ask for the tarpan process. Also you can follow up in pitri paksh. Rest upon you to solve your Mother hatred.
Chill karo Bhai, kya faltu me tension le rhe ho. Spoiling your current life just for missing some silly rituals. How does it matter being present there? Doesn’t it look more for just societal show off? If not, you can do similar ritual at your own wished place, you give money to Pandits, they will do any ritual what you request them to. Ye kya pagalpan me fase hue ho!
Jisko jana tha wo chala gaya bro, shraadh doesn't really mean much. Just a formality.
You can honor his memory from anywhere, don't need to go home for that. Obviously your mom hasn't gotten over the marriage still, going now won't help in any way.
I would suggest focusing on yourself, your partner and your venture. Stop trying to reconnect with your mom and sister. They should be the ones who realise their mistake. It's not your responsibility to make them understand. They probably never will, just try and make peace with that.
Easier said than done, I know. But there's no other option really.
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