Require help...

Hi...I am struggling to ... I don't know...so many thoughts in my mind...feels like a constant headache or buzzing the brain.. I need to start studying and upskill and move from my current company to somewhere I will get financial stability... I was working as Salesforce admin for 3.5 years and just now working as Salesforce developer since last 2.5 months..work I am getting is close to admin tasks only My total experience is almost 4 years and salary is around 30-35k in hand...like I said...financially not good.

I just....I know I need to study as I don't know the Salesforce dev concepts...but i am stuck in constant delaying and avoiding studying. It bores me....scares me...many more things.......I go to office 5 days a week and it takes my 12 hrs a day to commute and work...The time which is left is already very little and I always wish to spend it to relax and destress... something which I don't achieve even after trying coz I am thinking about how much time I m wasting instead of studying....please help...I don't know what to do...