Pleaee advise what to do
I have been in a relationship for the last four years. For the first three years, everything was smooth and good. But in the last one year, my partner has been behaving strangely. I am well-settled and working, but he is still struggling to find a job and does not have one yet.
Previously, he used to call me frequently, send continuous texts, and always approach me to meet. Now, he does not call me, does not initiate meeting, and does not respond to my texts or pay attention to me. I don’t think there is any other girl in his life apart from me, but I can’t understand how a person can suddenly change like this.
He might be stressed or perhaps struggling to share his feelings. Perhaps he might be comparing himself to you since you are well settled and a good job, all of which he is yet to achieve. Maybe you should make him sit down and assure him that you are gonna be with him no matter what and ask him to tell you what’s going on in his mind without any fear of judgment in a safe space between you two
I did everything, am his biggest support
Am always with him in his all up and downs
Even when we meet i used to pay everywhere or if he need money (he usually dont ask for money ) but am always making sure he has money
He is literally not replying me 2-2 days if I don’t msg then he didn’t even tired to check on me
I know he is struggling but am supporting but what’s this behaviour?
This sudden shift is so confusing and hurtful. When someone goes from being all over you to basically ignoring you, it really messes with your head.
What’s probably happening:
- He got comfortable once he felt like he “had you”
- Things got too real and he’s pulling back
- He’s testing how much you’ll chase
What could work:
- Stop chasing him - the more you pursue someone pulling away, the more they’ll pull away
- Match his energy - if he’s not texting, don’t text
- Do your own thing - hang with friends, focus on yourself
- Set a deadline - don’t wait around forever
People show you who they are through actions. If someone wants to be in your life, they’ll make the effort.
We talk about these exact relationship patterns in our Press Pause community - helps to get perspective from others who’ve been there: https://chat.whatsapp.com/F6iWzeV56B64ltNhMafEkq
You deserve consistency, not hot and cold games.
Agree with you 100%
Whenever i ask him why you are behaving like this or any topic related to this he just says you know from what am going through am not getting what am doing i feel shy that i still not earning am nit getting how can i show my face to you or to my parents
But i know everything am not blaming him to not earning he can express everything with me I don’t know what’s stopping him to express how many times i need to ask?
One more thing i keep texting him calling him because am worried that we will lost communication completely
What to do?
Seems like he is depressed but afraid to accept it or share it with anyone, try to have a talk with him, tell him that you want to support him get better, but he has to take that first step and open up
He doesn't have a job he is depressed and thinks he doesn't deserve a good girl. His distancing is not related to you he is fighting with himself. When a guy is not settled financially he is not good with emotions and people around him.
If you are really sure he is not into someone else.. Just Sit with him and don't ask why he is behaving like this.. Just keep it casual and then move to things which keeps bothering him nowadays..No good Man/ Woman can ignore their partner for this long.. Maybe he has moved on.. Maybe he has not but relationship is not is priority anymore..Coz people change temporarily and even permanently when they are stressed especially with job scenarios in today's world.. Best thing for you will be to sit down and have a healthy conversation giving signals that if he really don't want to continue the relationship thats also fine coz you are a loyal person and you deserve atleast some attention and time..and that shouldn't be a forced one.
Nothing better than just sitting and letting him know how you feel about this. No indirect way is going to help here.
Pick up a day where the two of your are free and have time and are comfy and just spark a conversation.
(I am not sure but may be try not to react too emotionally when this conversation happens, rather like a friend and not like a partner.)
It’s difficult to share feelings of burden or pain for guys with their partner especially because it’s a loss for them if they make their most favourite person cry or scare them or worried or anything. So approach like a friend and no super emotional reaction to anything that’s discussed .
