Personal problem suggestions
Hi Team, I am 35 years old women, doing job in IT. My husband is 36 and he started his job 1 year ago but he is on contract based. Company can release him any time. The issue is that he doesn't understand his responsibility, he doesn't want to do job. Prior to job he was in share trading but he booked loss of 3-4 lakh. I don't understand if he will not do the job then how we will manage the things. I have also taken loan for a flat and every month it's EMI gets deducted. In laws are forcing me for kid. But if I need more maternity leaves how we will manage the things. I came from a good family and I didn't find any financial issues ever when I was bachelor. Please give your suggestions.
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Take a 10-min AI interview to qualify for numerous real jobs auto-matched to your profile 🔑Do you want to have a kid? If you're not very invested in the idea, then avoid it.
Because your husband doesn't sound like he'll be able to provide financial stability to you or your child. And not only during maternity leave, but the first few years of raising a young baby are a lot of work and stress for the mother, and you might struggle to balance it with your job.
So if your husband is not willing to become mature, & step up and work to provide financial stability to you and your child, then don't even think of having children in this situation.
All the best!
Thanks a lot But how I make to understand these to in laws. They say that child can be raised with less money. But I know the situation my husband is not interested in job at all. I am very much frustrated.
And I don't want to have a kid, because I am not mentally prepared due to husband's job.and he gives me very illogical answers like you forced me to do job etc etc. but he will not do the job then what will he do I don't understand.
Do what you'd expect him to do if you were in his shoes. Support him like a responsible caring spouse.
We all good through ups and downs. Times will change. Keep your relationship intact. It does not get any better after divorce.
I have been supporting him for job since 2 years, I have been supporting him financially since 4 years. If he is not interested in job who will keep him. I did support him in all the situations but meri bhi ek limit he tolerate karne ki yahi jeevan bhar yahi karungi to apni life kab jeeungi.
Look , after I being married since 16 years and also a mother of a 14 year old kid at 40, you took few decisions at very late age.
Now you have two choice. 1 is to leave your husband bcoz he don't care you otherwise he could change him self so far but you think that he really care you and is ready to change him within 3 months, then go for choice 2. Choice 2 is - He has search another stable job in which he not just ensure financial planning but also ensure that you both plan kid after 1 year.. In both the choice, you have to make a decision for both of you.
I have seen this situation a lot of times. This is why women should only marry a financially stable man. Because even if he doesn't do anything, him and his family would want kids.
RUN
In-laws are no one. It's your life. Don't have kids under pressure.
Also your husband shouldn't also think of having a kids when he himself isn't responsible enough. Is he a househusband? Or does he want to be?
Never have kids in this situation. And ask yourself where you see your marriage going. You still want to continue being with him?
Unless you have Crores as trading amount, it's literally very difficult to get monthly income from Trading , Sharing from personal experience, I have myself incurred huge losses but thankfully I did not quit job.
I am not saying impossible, but it's next to impossible from trading
On paper it looks lucrative
That's my humble advise to continue job only , till you have a huge capital to draw 1% monthly
If you had taken your mortgage with your husband agreeing to meet you half way, you wouldn't have found yourself in this situation. Since you don't have kids, my suggestion is to suggest giving up the house until you get a full commitment from your spouse. If that doesn't work, understand that your spouse is living an entitled life and that's not yours. Find a way to move on.
You don't need grapevine, you need a marriage counsellor