Not able to complete the development assigned to me!!

I have 2.5 years of experience in sap abap but I am not good at abap coding but i am good at node.js though…I work at infosys and have asked for a release from my manager but i am not released from my project yet and my lead keeps pushing me to complete the development which i knew i won’t be able to, thus i asked for a release and also to get some time to study node js and switch asap now i don’t know what to do !! My lead keeps asking why cant i do it to which i have no answer but just that i am unable to figure this out they try to explain it to me but i just can’t do it and its not open source so cant get much help from gpt either !! Oh i hate sap it has ruined my life!! Please dont judge me I am at my lowest right now and drunk and afraid as to what will happen!! Sorry for rambling!!