New city + personal setback, how did you handle this phase?
I’m 26 years old, originally from UP, and currently working in Pune as a Data Engineer with around 4.5 years of experience. I recently moved here from Gurugram after a good hike, hoping for professional growth, but the transition has been much harder than expected.
The culture, language, food, and overall environment here feel very different from what I was used to earlier, and I’m still struggling to feel settled. At the same time, a personal situation made things more complicated someone I was very close to, and for whom I also helped with a job opportunity in the same office, joined here recently. After moving, things changed between us and the relationship ended. She has moved on and wants things to remain only as friends, but since we work in the same office, it has been emotionally difficult to adjust.
Most days at work are manageable, but when I’m alone after the office or during weekends, it gets heavy and I often feel lost. I moved here trusting that things would work out personally and professionally, but right now it feels like I’m starting everything from zero, without a support system here. Even my BP has been higher lately because of stress.
I’m not posting this for sympathy I genuinely want practical advice from people who may have faced similar situations
Any honest suggestions or experiences would really help. Thank you.
Shower
Eat 3 clean meals a day
Work with dedication
Physical activity
Journal
Sleep.. Repeat
Try this for a week and comment back on this if this doesn’t work.
It absolutely does.
I moved to a new country and had to manage work cooking cleaning grocery shopping washing clothes dishes ironing etc . Atleast in India you can hire cook maid or eat outside . In abroad it’s very difficult. For loneliness join a gym make some friends go out trek trip parties etc etc
Life is one but a big cosmic joke. Treat is as one. Noting is as serious as you thought it to be. Nothing is as chill as your friends told you it to be. Just live and enjoy things as they come to you. Things will be alright, you'll be alright. Stop overthinking too much.
I am also from Pune, pune is the only city where you won’t struggle for long, very lively and friendly city, try to be part of the group activities that happen all around the city, if you are in sports go for running clubs ( great acting with a possibility of making a lots of friends), go for group single meetups, hiking, cookhouse, brunches, there are lots of things to do here, also depends on the area where you are staying, but you can attend those things from any area but staying in VN, KP, KN, Kharadi, Baner, Balewadi helps because of major working crowd and young people and mix of all kind of people so you won’t feel alone, lots of northies are here. I came to pune 13 years ago and I am telling you it’s better than any other city. I have stayed at hyd, Gurgaon, Bangalore but pune has it own vibe and charm. You will feel it soon. All the best !!!
Hey , how to find running clubs I live in wakad
Think about God and Parents. Think about your goals. Think about yourself and self care. Enough to get you through anything with the right mindset. Life is very simple if you know how to live it.
Hey could you please refer me?
Bro, give some Time, it will change everything . Commenting here with my own experience. Focus on yourself and your career and your family.Talk to your mother father, sister, brother everyday, you will not feel lonely anyday. Start cooking if you not learn till now,play any game which you like. There are lot of things to do, you just need to find out. Relationship is not something you need to chase, it will come towards you, once you focus on yourself.
Hey could you please refer me?
Trust me, brother. A lot of the men actually fall in the cycle. As a professional in his mid 30 s, I have taken the same trajectory. The complacency of staying with someone familiar is comforting in the new found pressures of a new city.
Some 8 years back, I had a very similar situationship and stayed longer in the relation or tried to sustain it only for the false comfort. But with a new language, new culture different food, life wore me out.
But persistence alone sustained and keeping myself level headed in all the pain. You have to put yourself through it. Face it everyday and slowly but steadily you will without even yourself realising wean away. It is what life does and invariably in two - three years you will pat yourself for finding and giving that freedom to you at the earliest. Several years away, you will realise or wouldn't even recall this phase of your life. Wish you all the best.
I have also from new city from starting 30 day very difficult I think I go back but as we all know only forward option is there in life so forget everything what is already happened you can't change now what is in your hand change that you are not the only one you are facing this problem every need to face this and if everyone are doing then we can also do
Respect your only not other
I moved to Pune 3 years ago for a girl whom I loved for 5 years. She didn't even meet me and blocked me and got married last year. This is life. Shit happens. Cry a little, but moving on is what it is. Stay strong bro.
