Need advice: Dating someone amazing, but his career isn’t stable

This is so hypocritical. This is so materialistic, "long term" is just a sad excuse. Marriage is a commitment. Dating? It's a completely different thing. All i see is someone who wants to date, but not someone courageous enough to marry the one she loves, because of some bullshit materialistic reason. Think about what you'd do if you marry him and he goes broke — if your answer is not "we'll fix it together", then this is not love. Imo, he would be better off without you. And you are still in the pre-feminism era, expecting someone to carry you around.

A career is 30 years long at least. It is very likely to be unstable at some points, it is just sooner for some people, that s hardly a red flag.

I married a man who had some career struggles and he was lagging on his career track. I was making 2x of what he made then. I found him talented and ambitious. But I know sometimes luck plays a role. I had told him my expectations very clearly. I do not need or expect that he earns highly in future but I want someone ambitious and willing to work hard to get somewhere in life. The outcome is not in our hands but efforts are. I m okay with 10 failures but not okay with a slacker. That is not to say self satisfaction or complacency is bad, it was just I did not want it in a partner.

So yes, stability is important but it doesn’t come only from earning equally or being in a stable job at the start of your relationship. Consider you marry a man having a stable job. Tomorrow he s laid off, unwilling to take a pay cut, ego issues and ultimately never goes back to work? Who guarantees stability?

I guess the gap here is : We want kind & supportive men, shout out from the rooftops about them being green flags when they break gender stereotypes. But if we get a chance to be supportive, break gender stereotypes, take lead in financial stability in the relationship, we step back.

You are materialistic and thats fine, just don’t convince yourself otherwise. You can absolutely pursue stability over choosing to support an amazing partner. But long term you will get what you put on the table in life in general. You cannot crib if your future partner makes a practical decision if God forbid you need support. Basically you should do what you expect your future partner to do if the roles were reversed.

Go ahead, if you will be able to, not treat this financial difference as a favor done to him, especially if some financial strain happens in the future for some reason.

My suggestion for both boys and girls is that you should never, ever go into a relationship if you even have a speck of a feeling that you're doing some favor to the other person in any aspect of life. Trust me, that idea will not age well and will play out way differently than you expected.

As per feminists only boys should pay for dates, look after girls and girls don't have any responsibility...

Looking at your responses, it seems this relationship won't last long and we know why.

It's non sense if u love his earnings should not matter to u if he love u enough and u r earning enough then why looking at him . Mine is worker in factory still I love him and will be besides him forever and will do marriage also

Males may take upto 30 of age to properly settle down in carrier, it's quite normal specially when he isn't from well known tier 1-2 college. If you really wants to be with him then you too can support by working with minimum demands from him and if not then please don't cause trouble for him as struggling people will be depressed more with false partner promise, in this case better leave him early to avoid hurting him so he can recover and look for partner in AM. Other think to watch whether he is always in hurry for everything or excess phone use for reels etc or stressed by body language then if he is then it's may have anxiety which may cause issues in future and frequent job or role change result of this. Even he is managing now but in future his anxiety can cause lot of trouble for you and family. This is assumption by seeing his frequent job chany as there are lot of issue with both male and females who are addicted to phones nowadays

Do you believe you are stable in your finances, if yes. Go ahead.

Yes a red flag, and that's you.

My only humble request to you is that please don't marry him. He definitely deserves a better partner than you.