My story <> the code, the girl, and the pain 🖤
It was supposed to be just a quick code sprint. That’s how it always starts, right? "I'll be done by midnight, max," I used to tell her, not knowing it was the last lie I’d get away with. Midnight turned to 2 AM, then 4. By the time I shut my laptop, the first light was coming through the blinds, and her side of the bed was empty.
But that was our normal. I thought she got it, she knew I was building something big, something that would finally change things for us. I was knee deep in solving a critical bug that only I seemed to understand, believing in some twisted way that the endless grind was proof of my dedication to us . Each time I thought about taking a break, I'd picture her smile when all this hard work finally paid off.
But that smile was getting rarer. I'd catch her looking at me across the room, and I'd just wave her off, saying, "Just a bit longer, promise." And every time, she’d nod, but there was this look in her eyes, a mix of disappointment and something I couldn’t quite place.
I was too busy building, too buried in code to ask.
The worst part? I didn’t even see it coming. She’d been pulling away for months, leaving early in the morning, taking calls outside. I convinced myself she was just giving me space, like she always did. I remember thinking, Wow, she's supportive, when really, she was letting go. When she finally left, she left a note, and all it said was: “I need someone who’s here, not always almost there.”
The first time I truly felt her absence was in the silence. After the adrenaline of a thousand deadlines, a million late nights chasing bugs and fixes, there was this... nothing. I’d sit there, blank screen in front of me, waiting for the relief that usually came after a build worked. But there was just this sinking feeling that none of it meant anything without her.
Here’s the real kicker: I’d never considered it toxic. I thought it was the price of greatness, of pushing myself to be better. Should I call/text her?
Talking product sense with Ridhi
9 min AI interview5 questions
Your story hits hard.
As for reaching out, it might be worth it to send a text or call, not to plead for her back, but to acknowledge your mistakes and express genuine regret. Sometimes, owning up to what went wrong can open the door for understanding and healing, even if it doesn’t lead to rekindling the relationship. Just be honest about how you feel and what you’ve learned. It’s a step toward growth, whether it leads to reconciliation or simply closure.
If you genuinely feel ready to give her the time and emotional support she needs, and you recognize where you may have fallen short, consider calling her instead of texting. A call can help convey the seriousness of your intentions. Begin by sincerely apologizing and explaining your perspective, sharing how you were focused on her comfort and happiness during that time.
Reassure her that you are committed to making things right and that you have reflected on your actions. It’s important to ensure you’re confident in your ability to change. If she is willing to move forward and let go of the past, that could be a positive step for both of you.
Best wishes!!!
Them hoes ain't loyal
Move on
😹
In pursuit of polishing you became diamond and cut the very glass which had your true reflection
Had the similar experience, and guess what she doesn't care about me. And your that point : she was leaving early and you thought it was something else, that just hit hard. Had same experience and I reached out to her to discuss the same. For the first and last time we had a non professional discussion for 33 mins 20 secs and my heart skipped a beat after disconnecting the call. The fuck. And even now it's more than 3 months still I get into hallucination for a day or 2 sometimes in a week. And this cycle continues so far. Idk where this thing got me.
I have a lot of things to share. I love to talk about her. But it hurts in the end.
Dude you sound like you are in so much pain honeslty.
Dude, you are not alone.
I understood lately that everything in life requires effort and energy be it job, relationship or anything. We are many times lucky that we have great relationships with family and friends without doing anything that we take it for granted and forget we should actively try to put efforts to maintain it.
I can totally relate with you that you were doing hard work for the future with your partner but here a disconnect happened she wanted you in the present with her to give her time.
Maybe I feel she is also kind of wrong that she did not sit and communicate with you what she wanted and left directly, women feel men should guess what's in her mind if its supposed to be spoken out then its no use but I think its clear case of miscommunication and childish behaviour.
I am still not sure how I will balance job and married life in future because now a days job has become demanding and everybody in family expects you to keep earning more and more
You should call only when you are ready to make amends. If you feel that strongly about her that none of what you do matters if she's not in your life, I guess it shows she's a priority. Why not show that in real life?
All you guys need to do to start off is talk it out, see how you can come up with win-win such that your work isn't impacted, but you aren't spending so much time to be great that you lose out on the person you consider important
Very relatable bro. I worked so hard, I didn't even see her in the first place
Riches before bitches