My experience till now living in Endia for 30 years

Hi, I am not trying to be self-racist here, and I do not hate my own people, but I want to share my experience of living in India for almost 30 years. I am currently 30 years old and will turn 31 this November. I have never been abroad, so I do not have personal experience of how Indians are treated outside India. However, on Twitter (X), I have seen many racist messages and comments. I have seen thousands of racist remarks from white people, Asians, Black people, and even people from Latin American countries. So, I want to talk about the experiences I have personally faced while living in India. I have experienced racism, classism, and many other forms of discrimination. One major form of classism I faced was because my English-speaking skills were not at the same level as those of affluent Indians, especially people from Delhi NCR, Bangalore, and other big cities. Many upper-middle-class or wealthy kids grow up watching English movies, consuming English media, and listening to English songs, so their fluency is naturally better. Because my English is not at that level, I have often faced classist comments. People mock my accent or my English-speaking ability. This has happened to me countless times. Even when what I say is understandable, people still make faces or laugh at me. Sometimes I fumble while speaking or struggle to remember certain words, and people mock me for that as well. What hurts more is that this behavior comes from fellow Indians — people who are from the same race and country as me. From my experience, I feel that many Indians have a deep inferiority complex regarding their culture, language, race, skin color, and physical appearance. I am not saying this without reason. India has historically been colonized by many foreign powers, including the Mughals, Turks, British, Portuguese, and French. Because of this long history, many Indians tend to look up to fair-skinned people or Western cultures. There are many other examples of classism that I have faced. People often cut me off while speaking, or they mock me even if I make a small mistake. There is also extreme competition in every aspect of life here — competition for jobs, grades, salaries, status, and opportunities. People constantly compare themselves with others. They ask questions like how much someone earns, where they work, or what position they hold. There is always comparison happening in people’s minds. I have also noticed what people call a “crab mentality.” If someone is doing well or living happily, others become jealous or resentful. It often feels like people do not want to see others succeed. I think this happens because many people in India are unhappy with their own lives. There is poverty, overpopulation, pollution, corruption, lack of opportunities, and social pressure everywhere. Almost everyone is struggling with something — problems with money, family, work, relationships, health, or society. Because of this, people become frustrated and emotionally exhausted. When they see someone else living a decent or happy life, they feel envy toward that person. India often feels like a country where everyone is carrying some kind of burden or stress. I have also noticed that appearance matters a lot. In my experience, many Indians themselves feel insecure about their looks. If they see someone who looks better, is taller, fair-skinned, or more attractive, they sometimes react with jealousy. People have told me that I look decent — I am tall and fair-skinned — and because of that, I have sometimes noticed strange or hostile expressions from other men. It often feels like there is underlying resentment or competition. The population is huge, opportunities are limited, and competition is intense. Because of this, society often becomes unhealthy and overly competitive. At the same time, I have also seen racism against Indians from people outside India. I have seen racist comments online from people across the world — including people from Southeast Asia, Europe, America, Africa, and other regions. Sometimes Indians are judged because of poverty, stereotypes, appearance, or behavior. Recently, I saw a video of an Indian girl traveling to Southeast Asia — possibly Vietnam or Cambodia — where she faced discrimination. She was asked to prove that she had around $4,000 in her bank account before entering the country. She was crying in the video because she felt humiliated. Experiences like these make it feel as if Indians face judgment everywhere. Sometimes it feels like even our own people are classist toward us. Colleagues, classmates, and even people close to us can be harsh and judgmental. Because of all this, it can sometimes feel like there is very little acceptance or empathy for Indians, both inside and outside the country. At times, it feels like being born in India is a curse. Many Indians cope with these feelings by glorifying the past and saying things like “India was once a golden bird” or “India is the Vishwaguru.” These ideas sometimes feel like coping mechanisms because deep down many people know that India struggles with serious social and economic problems today.