QuirkyNarwhal
QuirkyNarwhal

Moved back home after 11 years of living my life "independantly"

"Beta, your room is always waiting for you."

Mom's words echoed in my head as I lugged my suitcases up the familiar stairs of my childhood home. At 29, with a master's degree and five years of corporate experience under my belt, I never thought I'd be back here. Not like this, anyway.

The decision to move back wasn't easy. My startup had failed spectacularly, taking my savings and self-esteem with it. Mumbai's sky-high rents suddenly seemed impossible. When Dad suggested I come home "just until you figure things out," it felt like both a lifeline and a step backwards.

The first week was a strange mix of comfort and chaos. Mom's cooking was a welcome change from my diet of Swiggy/Zomato. But the luxury of home-cooked meals came with a side of "Why aren't you eating?", "You've become so thin!", and unsolicited advice on everything from my career to my love life.

My old room, now Dad's "home office," was a time capsule of my teenage years. Faded cricket posters shared wall space with his collection of business books. At night, lying in my childhood bed, I'd stare at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling and wonder where I'd gone wrong.

The hardest part was the loss of independence. Suddenly, I had to inform my parents if I was going out late. Dad would casually inquire about my job search over breakfast. Mom would remind me to make my bed, as if I hadn't been doing it myself for years.

But amid the frustration, there were moments of unexpected joy. Like when Dad and I stayed up late discussing startup ideas, his eyes lighting up with an enthusiasm I'd forgotten he possessed. Or the afternoon I spent teaching Mom how to use Instagram, both of us laughing at the filters.

Slowly, I started to see my parents not just as "Mom and Dad," but as individuals with their own dreams and quirks. I noticed the silver in Dad's hair, the new lines around Mom's eyes. When had they gotten older? Had I been too busy "adulting" to notice?

There were adjustments on both sides. I learned to bite my tongue when Mom rearranged my carefully organized closet. They learned to knock before entering my room. We all learned the delicate dance of sharing space as adults.

The turning point came three months in. I landed a new job, and my first instinct was to start apartment hunting. But as I sat at the dining table, sharing the news over Mom's special biryani, I realized something had shifted. This house, with all its quirks and challenges, had become home again. Not in the same way it was when I was a kid, but in a new, complex, adult way.

I ended up staying for eight more months. In that time, I not only rebuilt my career but also rediscovered my relationship with my parents. We argued, we laughed, we shared silences. I learned that Dad makes a mean omelet at 2 AM, and that Mom's got a wicked sense of humor I'd somehow missed growing up.

When I finally moved out, it wasn't with the desperate rush I'd initially imagined. It was a practical decision - I'd saved enough, found a place I liked, and felt ready. The send-off was a simple family dinner, where we laughed about some of the awkward moments from the past year.

As I settled into my new apartment, I realized those months at home had taught me a lot. Sure, there were tough times - privacy issues, disagreements over household rules, the occasional feeling of regression. But there were also valuable lessons:

  1. My parents are people too, with their own lives and challenges.
  2. Independence is more about mindset than living situation.
  3. Family relationships can actually improve with some close quarters and open communication.
  4. I'm more resilient than I thought, capable of adapting to unexpected life turns.

Would I do it again? Maybe, if circumstances required it. It wasn't always easy, but it was far from the disaster I'd feared. If anything, those months gave me a new appreciation for my family and a better understanding of myself.

So if you find yourself packing up to head back to your childhood bedroom, don't panic. It's not a step backward - it's just a different kind of move forward.

9mo ago
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JumpyBiscuit
JumpyBiscuit

This is some bougie bullshit. Try moving back home when your family's crammed into a tiny flat and there's no space for your "childhood bedroom". Check your privilege.

FloatingLlama
FloatingLlama

Ye grapevine hai ya Twitter? Log offend hona shuru ho gaye

PeppyKoala
PeppyKoala

You read this and this was the first thought that crossed your mind? The OP isn't asking everyone to do it, they're literally sharing a personal experience.

"bougie bullshit" and "check your privilege" 😂😂😂

PeppyQuokka
PeppyQuokka

Damn, this hit home. Just moved back in with my folks last month after a layoff. Felt like such a loser at first, but your story gives me hope it might not be so bad. Thanks for sharing!

WobblyTaco
WobblyTaco

Rich people problems...

WigglyDonut
WigglyDonut

@NormalSlope1 I don’t think they felt like a loser because they are living with parents. They felt that way because they lost their job.

That’s what I think.

FluffyJellybean
FluffyJellybean

This option of staying with parents at adult was never there for women. Once married, we got no option to stay with our parents. Lucky to be born as a boy!

FluffyJellybean
FluffyJellybean

**as an adult

FloatingRaccoon
FloatingRaccoon
TCS9mo

@CuteEmotion Woman can always marry House husbands . There is no law that forces women not to stay with parents after marrying.

SparklyTaco
SparklyTaco

Fuck, I wish I had this kind of relationship with my parents. Moved out at 18 and never looked back. Reading this makes me wonder what I've missed out on.

ZestyPotato
ZestyPotato

Go back to figure it out. Before its too late. :)

SwirlyBiscuit
SwirlyBiscuit

@EarnestRoom i have done this as well, i think about what could have been

WigglyMochi
WigglyMochi

Man! I never thought there are people who don't want to go back home. Yes! I do like the freedom and Independence in my own flat but a home will always be a home for me. I try to make sure that every 3rd month, i go back to home and stay with them. And beleive me, I feel it's way to less. I need to spend more time with them.

WigglyBoba
WigglyBoba

I too started feeling the same especially after the covid, I am even ready to compromise on pay if I get to live with my parents

BubblyBoba
BubblyBoba

Man, cannot tell you how relatable this is! Moved back with parents in October 2023 after having been away since 2007. To come home to mom waiting for you is the biggest satisfaction ever! I don't have to worry about how they would be doing and what they would be doing because I'm going back home to them!
Papa has been so expressive since I've moved back that it has opened a new dimension in the emotional connect that I have had with him, over the years!
It's overwhelming and yet so humbling! We can make as much money as we could but none of it would come close to seeing your parents smile at the end of the day. Takes away whatever discomfort you have encountered through the day!
Thanks for penning this down!

FluffyCupcake
FluffyCupcake

Beautifully captured!

Echoed all the emotions, felt the same when I moved back to home with no return tickets since boarding school ( thanks to Covid!).

Now I notice more lines on their faces. I go extra soft on their demands. Forced them to go on a foreign adventure trip and enjoy the fruits of their lifelong hard work. They have 100s of stories from that trip. I wish we can see human(s) beyond those relationships. A human who’s constrained by the roles & responsibilities from our Day-0.

FloatingBoba
FloatingBoba

That foreign trip was only them or along with you? I want to talk about the safety and awareness aspects. They might be new to too many things.

ZippyBoba
ZippyBoba

I moved back when I got laid off and now I have a Remote job, so I stay with them. And now I don't even think of moving out. I have some friends in my hometown, which is a small town, but when we sit together at night and discuss day, I cannot miss it

WobblyUnicorn
WobblyUnicorn

The startup I work at ran out of cash. Took salary hits while looking for jobs, hence home from past 3 months. Can absolutely relate with the experience.

ZestyPotato
ZestyPotato

Best on Grapevine I have read till date. Happy for you :)

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