Marriage isn’t piece of cake.
Hi everyone,
I’m a 28-year-old male with over 5 years of experience, currently working at a good startup in Bangalore. I recently got an offer from an MNC and I’m earning well enough to live a decent life here.
I’ve been actively looking for a partner for marriage, mainly because my family’s circle isn’t big enough to find one for me—so it’s either I find someone myself or give up on the idea of marriage altogether.
And honestly, this seems to be the story for many of us.
Matrimonial platforms are filled with people who are basically seeking early retirement through marriage—expecting 3x–5x their own income in a partner. If not financials, then caste becomes the issue. If not caste, then food preferences. And if everything else matches, the horoscope (kundali) becomes the problem.
Why do families have so many filters? What exactly are they looking for?
My own family used to had some expectations, but now they’ve become open-minded about most things. Still, every other family seems to have a predefined checklist. If the guy fits, great. If not, it’s “next!”
Over the past 2–3 years, I’ve spoken to a lot of people. Everyone says they want to marry “someone” — but no one seems to know what that “someone” should actually be.
hope anyone reading this can share their experiences?
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First thing they ask is about properties we have. It’s like a business transaction now
if someone ask this, then that is biggest red flag
Guys also ask the girls about dowry. They demand 25lacs and rest marriage spending too,that becomes 50 lacs
Stop looking for a partner on these websites. Try meeting people in real life. It's really not so difficult. This old school way worked pretty well for me. Don't let a marriage be some type of contract
As someone who has been through this process, I can relate to the frustration. In present times, girls have a lot of choice to choose from. Even those who are genuinely looking get confused when they get 50 interests in a week.
When there is a platter to choose from, decisions are often made based on looks, money, location, etc. When these are okay, caste and horoscope becomes a reason. At times these are not even genuine reasons.
When everything is okay, they won't convey their decisions because they want to WAIT FOR BETTER OPTIONS.
I have met a few prospects in these process and realised that they are mostly not sure of what they want. Too much confusion and lack of clarity is the main reasons for random rejections. Another problem is girl's families come up with entitlement. Their expectations are more unrealistic than the girl. Anyway, its a long process and mentally exhausting!!
yeah, its exhausting.
Man, I gotta get this off my chest. At 28, the whole "find a partner" circus has officially worn me out. It's been a non-stop audition, from justifying my salary (even after busting my ass to go from 15LPA to 28LPA in just two years, mind you) to defending my powerlifter physique ("hippo" or not, my blood work's cleaner than theirs!). Then it's why I'm investing in my village, why I wear glasses, or the casual assumption I'd kick my parents out when I get married. Oh, and the "no dowry, equality" talk, which somehow only applies to their family's asks, not mine. The irony kills me. My parents, who literally fostered two of my cousins because they longed for a daughter, would shower my partner with love. But I can't even say that out loud without becoming "easy bait." I even tried dating on my own. I confessed my feelings to someone, and then she said, "you don't earn 25LPA, good luck." That was back when I was at 15LPA, and I’ve since climbed to 28LPA, but that dismissal after putting myself out there really stings. It makes you wonder: is my entire existence just a series of proving I'm "good enough"? My folks used to ask about it, and one day I just snapped, shouting that not everyone's like them – people have lists, and if you don't tick every box, you're just another option. For a while, I even started hating couples around me, which I knew wasn't healthy. So, funnily enough, I ended up at the Mahakumbh. Standing there, taking that 1 AM dip in freezing water, it hit me: why am I trying to convince anyone to like me? Honestly, to hell with marriage prospects. To hell with relationships for now. I've got other things to focus on, and if staying alone means peace, I'll take it. I just don't have the energy for this circus anymore. My parents' happiness matters to me, so I can't openly say I'm done, but trust me, any talk of marriage now, and I've got an "emergency meeting" to attend.
Never disclose ur income
Bhai disclose ur income chordo, people ask me to show the payslip (though i didn’t show them)
welcome to new normal.
Not judging any party but these days even parents of one side will say if you take care of our child through all means then if you have free time and my child allows you then you can work again . Also contributing your entire salary to the new household is also normal it seems .
5 years of experience in marriage?
Working experience* thanks for correcting.
I guess he means work ex
I am 28M and have good net worth to get Mercedes. I lost hope in marriage and it is hard reality. Just accept and move on
Kaun jaaat ba?
Why does caste matter so much to everyone? Why can’t people see the human first—why is caste everything?
Please explain why you need marriage??
It’s about having a companion for life. After a time ur friends wont be there, siblings will be on there way, parents won’t live forever. So u need a person who understands you, support you, listens to you. Stand rock solid in life’s ups & downs (& these are other than physical needs). Someone whom you can trust blindly. That’s one trustworthy person is important to keep you emotionally stable.
More than 12 years was searching for a girl on matrimony apps . Waste of money and time too. After that i felt datings are worth to find a good match.
Met many matches over dating apps but kuch na kuch galat tha...jo ladkia matrimony apps pe reject karti thi woh dating apps pe accept karti thi...then i felt waste of time again. Sabke sab apps delete maar diye ....
Now Peaceful life....improved in offline social life ...easily can approach anyone without keeping any hopes.
thanks for your comment man!
How did you improved offline social life?
any tips?
So did you find anyone?