GigglyCupcake
GigglyCupcake

Marriage advice

Hi

I am 28f unmarried. I am undergoing arrange marriage alliances for past 3 years. My question is I have 6 years experience and earning 15 lpa in IT firm . But while checking alliances ,there are many people who are earning lesser than me are willing to accept my profile. But my problem is I am the breadwinner for my family for past 6 years . I feel so tired ,exhausted sometimes. My difficulty is if I marry person earning lesser than me there will be ego clash or if I leave the job there will be low income for the family. What should I do? There are 12 alliances rejected me in person for my appearances .These people are from IT equal to my salary. What will be the best? Choosing partner from same stream or from different profession. I have bad horoscope. Parents would reject my profile for horoscope. Nowadays getting calls from matrimony is difficult. What are the filters I can ignore?

Shall I go and take premium subscription for matrimony apps?

8h ago
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SillyPickle
SillyPickle

Premium subscription will not make difference.

You'll get married when it's the right time.

Focus more on the person's qualities and overall compatibility.

Good things will take time sometimes.

Good marriage > No marriage > Bad marriage

GigglyCupcake
GigglyCupcake
TCS4h

The problem is if I age greater there will be lesser in getting calls even when I achieve more

BubblyCupcake
BubblyCupcake

If the guy is good and is accepting the fact that your earning better than him. And also doesn't ask you for money.
Then go ahead else drop it

BouncyNugget
BouncyNugget

By asking money you mean dowry right? Or is it like after marriage, he doesn't need money?

PrancingMuffin
PrancingMuffin

Open caste filters. Increase your choices. Salary equal or more is advisable but nevertheless, ego clashes are bound to happen. Look for maturity to resolve the clashes.
As someone who has strong belief in astrology, any rejection due to Astro mismatch should not be taken personally.
Looks wise rejection should be ignored. Its their loss

JumpyPretzel
JumpyPretzel

If you don’t believe in astrology shit, you can just refuse to go that way and refuse any information of that direction saying that you don’t believe in horoscope stuffs and don’t have those exact detail. At 28, you still have some time to decide, so take your time. But yes, going for below your income range doesn’t make sense, because Job loss period is certain for most girls. If your looks is not that good, you may consider removing the caste criteria, which I consider the most troublesome criteria.

PrancingPenguin
PrancingPenguin

Y u want to get married ? Only think for urself wht is best for u. Eventually u will get best for u nd never leave ur job no matter what. In today's world money buys u respect even from ur family.

SparklyNarwhal
SparklyNarwhal

Marriage is not similar like Job Interview where you can take a Premium subscription to something and clear the interview.. it's about your entire life, you will be spending your entire life (happy/sad all the moments) together, so not only monetary but you need to consider behaviour part as well . If he is passionate about his career, he can put in an effort and earn good in the future.

GigglyCupcake
GigglyCupcake
TCS7h

How can we find that he is passionate towards career ? Because apart from IT I have little knowledge on other sectors . During initial discussion nothing can be found

BouncyNugget
BouncyNugget

Few questions:

  1. Lets say today you married a man twice your salary and after 3-4 years he loses his job, and you are the only bread winner. How will you resolve ego clash?

  2. You married equal income guy and you get promoted/switch your job, your salary increases and becomes more than your partner. Ego clash?

  3. Lets say you married a low income guy, he has ego problems asks you to quit the job, and then you both end up in stressed financial situation!


Please girls and boys do understand... If you want to build a good relationship do not involve money as a criteria,

Maturity, understanding each other, ease of communication, and being present for each other in stressful times are the criteria to look for.

Good looking? Bro, beauty is not permanent, we all will grow old, thats not a big deal, 12 alliance did reject, its okay out of 145 cr people 12 gone not a big deal.

Don't be desparate, stay on your terms, sit allone and decide if you have to stay with a person till the last breath even in worst case scenario, what qualities will you need?

Rich, poor, beautiful, ugly etc, these things are not permanent, will change with time, choose some concrete and constant parameters! Think like 28 year old bro

BubblyBanana
BubblyBanana

Remove superficial criteria like caste, occupation and horoscope. Being a woman myself I would suggest not feeling dejected because people rejected you for anything. You are a hardworking and responsible person, anyone sensible will respect that quality. Don't change other criteria like values, character and stuff just to fit in or find a match. Eventually it will cause a lot of issues.

Leaving a job should never be an option, it brings respect and independence. But I can think of some cases where you might need a long break from your career, parents health or motherhood. Money should never become a problem.

GroovyBanana
GroovyBanana

I'd be honest wid you... For someone like you and your family LM is best...

PeppyPotato
PeppyPotato
TCS7h

Could you please refer me?

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