Marriage Advice
I am 28 old Man living in Bangalore (shifting to Gurgaon from July onwards). Met a girl through arranged marriage Setup, everything is so perfect between us - Big joint family, values, humor, nature. Only problem being, she is in gurgaon and had 2 years of serious relationship with another caste guy, upon asking she said they were physically active and were broken up 6 months back and now looking to arrange marriage Setup.
Problem: I too had 2 relationships but never crossed the limits. I come from middle-class class family and mentality and am not able to imagine my future with past physical activities. Also, given the matching cases, I don't want to lose her since I haven't seen such resemblance in 20+ prospects I explored till now.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
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ew wtf is up w the comments???
OP, you're both adults you are free to do whatever you want with whoever you want. why are you judging her for being human?? "never crossed limits" who set these limits? you? who are you trying to be here? world doesn't revolve around you.
be a man. be an adult with a functioning brain. unlearn prejudices. have you learnt nothing from all these freedom movements across the globe. it's 2025 ffs.
I'd not suggest you ruin her life by marrying her because your prejudice will show later on in the marriage and life will be hell for her. peace out. grow tf up.
IF OP is a virgin then no issue is setting such a standard.
Why is this even a question? Zomato in it's delivery says " if the seal is broken don't accept the package".
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Stop 🛑 think 🤔 delete your thought.
Wtf is happening in the comments?????
Guys she had a consenting mutual relationship as an adult.
I think if you have similar core values, it doesn’t matter. Also how do we live in 2025 and think that being intimate with our partners is being a whor*.
If you think like and cannot get over this insecurity’s then please don’t marry her, she doesn’t deserve to be caught up in your old mindset.
Then she should marry the same guy she intimated, don't justify whor*ness, and pointing out is not insecurity.
@Jackofalltrades same weirdos across social media.
RUN
Exactly!! Blue drum, Suitcase and Refrigerator!
Not judging her but what I am afraid of is a rebound! If you are confident, and know that you can handle it all, go for it, else, its still just a prospect, move on, let her find someone better and you too find someone better! Don't attach yourself to anyone while you are just looking for prospects! Know people, don't judge!
Instead of living it in confusion all your life, it is better to look for q peaceful companion. I don't know her, so I won't be judging her. But in today's world, you heard the news. The kind of cases is coming up, it's frightening. So bro, leave it as soon as possible. My parents are looking for me, first thing I check about her background. Making sure I am not a rebound
You're attracted to resemblance because she is/was physically active. Women's physique changes after physical and they become more attractive. A virgin girl will not be eye catchy but she is needed for you, for your children and for your family
A woman’s virginity is not a “reward” for you.It’s the baseline requirement for serious union.
give yourself the chance to try your luck with someone new! Don’t stay stuck in guilt or doubt every time you step out of the house. Everyone deserves peace in life—never compromise on that.
And a small piece of advice for your next match: avoid bringing up the past with your future wife. It’s the best way to protect your present and build a better future together!
From,
Advice from married guy with 10+ years of healthy marriage experience with two kids!!
"Avoid bringing up past"? what a cuck you've become...
She told you the truth. That takes maturity and respect. But if your mind can’t accept her past. Either work through your internal conditioning or step away with honesty. Because if you marry her while secretly resenting what she did before she even knew you, it will turn toxic for both. She deserves a partner who loves her for who she is, not what she did or didn’t do. And you deserve peace of mind, too.
You're completely valid in your ask and it will be a compromise for you if you marry her.
Try to get answers for:
- was it really 2 yrs or more?
- has she left anything for her husband to explore or she tried every possible thing?
- were they in a live-in?
- was she dumped or he was dumped?
- check thoroughly if she's in contact or has any feelings, cause it still is fresh
- most importantly, out of 20 odd girls you previously saw, can you tell how many u were confident were 100% virgins, (cause people do lie)?
Based on these things you can see, especially the last, that if you leave her for this, you can see the probability of getting a virgin girl.
If you marry her then spend some time in courtship or after getting engaged like 6 months or more. Be in the same city and see if she's good or not. If there's any sexual or emotional red flag - call it off
My 2 cents. Whatever happened let it be.
And i don't support her. But no one deserves to be judged for lifetime for some mistake which is big but not that big.
You couldn't have control of things happening in someone's past. Just make sure will you be compatible with the girl in the future.
Rest follow your gut feeling. Whatever you are feeling just make sure your are giving yourself enough reasons/time and don't let these thoughts mess you up in the future
Thanks, most relevant piece of advice. My only contention being that she was aware that there is very limited possibility of having that accepted by her family (btw we both come from very conservative family), why would you still do it. Had it been an exception, I would have accepted that