Manager wants me to be more extroverted
My skip level manager gave me the advice to be a lot more extroverted and this is further stressing me out. I do go out on team lunches and eat lunch with team mates but it looks like it's not enough. I'm bogged down by work as well.
He told me to focus on building connections, I feel like it won't add much value plus I am kind of doing this except not delibaretely. I'm a pretty introverted person who moves around like batman minding my own work and he doesn't like this plus I don't have time for small talk since my attention span is also low.
But he doesn't like all this and told me it's best i change how can I do this impossible task though, small talk is not natural to me plus I speak to only people I'm familiar with in general or if i really need something, I'm very introverted lost in his own thoughts
Bro, u r introverted so u r capable of doing things on your own, connections r for weak ppl. U will always figure it out on ur own, just reflect how u came here.
This is first time i am heating connection are for weak people 😂😂 totally inappropriate advice and wrong
I know I’m gonna get hate for this But this is something I learned the hard way
Beyond a certain point in your career, you need to speak more, interact more, build more connections, be more visible in wider groups and communities
No matter how great you are as an IC, if you want to grow to lead or principle level, you would have to start creating more impact
In the promotional discussions, you would want more people to vouch for you
Please give some advice for cracking agoda bangkok roles frontend
Same story everywhere for all introverts and ambiverts. This must be the most common suggestion given by the managers. To talk more, to network more, to interact more so as to make your presence visible.
But bottom line is, take it as your sign to start preparing for job switch, because they will certainly give this as an excuse to give lower hike.
Exactly.
Research has proved that extroverts do well at a higher level of career. There is only till a certain level where introverts can handle everything on thier own. But after a certain level you HAVE to collaborate with people. As a introvert myself im working on it. Its not the introvertness it's the discomfort that you feel while interacting to new people. Put yourself in uncomfortable situations. This is a skill which can be learnt.
He is just forcing you to involve in office politics.
Being a fellow introvert, I totally understand.
- Your manager is half right. You'll need to be more visible.
- Being batman doesn't help you. It helps your peers, managers and seniors. They get to show your work as their own achievements and peers get to project a view that they've worked more and deserve more
- Being more visible and less introvert doesn't necessarily mean being in more parties and making more small talk(though that helps as well, but I could never convince myself to do that)
- Instead of trying to bang your head on a wall for something which can be solved by talking to someone on slack or a call, talk to that person. It will help you a lot.
- For me, one of my early managers saw my introversion that was restricting me, sat with me for 15 mins every evening on a zoom call and made me reply, follow up and ask questions and create slack threads which I was trying to avoid as much as I could, even at the cost of spending a day to figure out things which could be done in a minute by connecting with someone. It really helped a lot
- Group calls etc might be stressful initially, do start with 1:1 calls and discussions with people you are slightly comfortable with. Then slowly expand that list.
You'll never become an extrovert probably, but that doesn't mean you need to be in the shadows which will just cost you even after putting in more effort.
I'll quote what that manager told me:
"In corporate, letting everyone know what you've done and not being humble about it is equally, if not more important than the actual work"
Even I had the same suggestion from manager..told to meet 2 new people across the org..at that time..I was new in the team..
I tried for few weeks, but later of introvert nature..minding my own work ..have stopped doing it..
But this is really needed after certain point of career ...otherwise you can't grow..
One suggestion i got from other person...start with known people and listen to them actively...and ask the questions on the same context/topic ..to continue conservations for more time..(don't be much interrogative in asking questions)
Try if it works...
Unless it’s about your work , don’t take it seriously , also network because your colleagues feedback matters too , they are the people who can make or break your hike/ promotion, I had people who are gossiping type and they used to complaint about me to my manager since they are close , so you kind of need to be in good books in other’s perspective also ..in my case I only used to talk to manager when needed .. nothing more than that.. but other’s they used to go that extra mile.. guess what my bonus percentages changed after that..not because I was not going good .. because my manager believed them.. I mean it is what it is .
I got laid off for not being talkative enough, in 1:1 manager told me no issues with skills but not a good culture fit due to my quiet nature
Hey, it’s ok for the suggestions given by manager take it only if you ok to build connections.. introverts are more capable of doing things alone!!
