Love or Life ?
I have been in a relationship for over 4.5 years. I am currently 25 years old and employed at a service-based MNC. I am the eldest son in my family, and my girlfriend is the youngest child in hers. Now, I have been hit with a reality check: marriage has suddenly become inevitable for me. My parents are constantly putting in effort to find me a match, but I keep turning them down because I want to spend my life with my girlfriend. The issue here is that my girlfriend is not ready yet. She is 23, recently joined an MNC as a trainee, and is also preparing for the GATE exam because she wants to pursue higher studies and build a career in teaching. Recently, I asked her to make our relationship official with our parents so I could tell my family and they would stop trying to get me settled down. However, she is asking me to wait for another 1 to 2 years because her elder brother is not married yet, and her family is orthodox; she fears they may not approve of our relationship and everything will be over. There is also a significant financial difference—her family's net worth is 10 to 12 times greater than ours. Because my career is in IT, which is highly unstable, and she wants us to have a good life, I have been driving myself to the limit. I am trying for government job vacancies and have even set up a transportation business on the side. Yet, it still feels like it is not enough. Since I am continuously receiving matrimonial proposals, I conveyed this pressure to her. She made her stance clear: she told me I have to wait 1 to 2 years, and if my family pressures me too much, I am free to go ahead with my parents' wishes. Currently, she is highly depressed, emotionally broken, and prone to self-harm. I am completely stuck. I truly love her and am willing to leave everything behind for her, but my dilemma is this: if I stand up to my parents and tell them about her, but she flips or backs out later due to family pressure, I will lose both her and my family, leaving me looking like a fool for the rest of my life. Please advise. It is really killing me from the inside, especially seeing her so sad and in pain."
Not sure how much pressure for wedding a guy of only 25 would get from their family.. But a girl of 23 might be getting even more, and probably she's handling her side of pressure on her own..
What you can do? Set a career goal of about 2 years. Which would convince your parents that the wait would only bring better proposals in future.. and it'll give you both some time to figure things out.
Yeah..good call!! I was gonna suggest the same. ".......Lose her and my family..." Buddy you will lose yourself. You may consider the above suggestion from Frizzy Take time and get yourself in a good position. Wishing you the best..Routing for you!!✌️😌
Live your life bro. Let your parents live their life. Don't live your parents life and don't let parents to allow you to live your life for you
I am not saying it wont work but chances are less. You can list down possibilities. And since she is just starting her career and her side of family is financially better too.
Let her build her life first because 23 is usually not so common to get married.
Not being negative or demotivating here.. but I just dont see much chances here. So may be you can wait for 1 year or 2 but not more than that.
You are 25... You can build life alongside hers... If you both are strong enough to hold any situation Waiting till 26/27 is no big deal... By then she will be 25 and more mature to handle marriage life.
i think you should give her space. it’s your responsibility to convince your parents. You can be assertive, and be respectful at the same time. Every decision you take is your, and so are the outcomes. Not doing anything is also a decision.
That's why I suggest to be romantically involved before marriage in India. It's a mess until the culture shifts
Hi, I’m a Full Stack Developer with 2.4 years of MERN stack experience, currently working at a startup. I’ve been applying for jobs for the last 2 months but not getting calls. Can you please guide me on what I should improve? Should I learn new technologies or focus on something else?
