Losing the will to live, my own brain wishing my death.
My body is giving up on me.
I earn 60k a month. Send 45k home.
I failed JEE, I failed to land a good job in college.
I was rejected always.
I disgust my own self, seeing my ugly face, hands, feet.
I hate my own voice, feels like a girl speaking.
My body is giving up slowly, I can feel it. Feeling less of my hands, mind, every day, little by little.
It's been 8 years living alone, in the hope one day, I can have a family of my own too.
Foolish thoughts for someone who was rejected always, I agree. But biological wiring doesn't care about my social prospects. I will still feel loneliness and the need of care.
I need someone to talk.to, I don't have the guts to do it unfortunately, otherwise I would have done it.
You're earning 60k and giving 45k to your family, yet you're still feeling the strain. Meanwhile, I'm earning 22k, sending 10k home, and I'm drowning in loans and credit card debt. We don't even own a house yet, and building one seems like a distant dream. Some nights, I lie awake, feeling overwhelmed. There have been times I felt like giving up, but then I think about my family. I have insurance, which would secure their future if something were to happen to me. But the real concern is that they're not educated, and my brothers are innocent in the ways of the world. If I weren't around, they'd struggle. That's what keeps me going – knowing I have to provide for them. Let's keep pushing forward, despite the challenges.
First up if you are a girl you are never ugly.. I had to be sure so.
and if you are a guy hit the gym or build a hobby that gives you adrenaline rush.
I am repeating myself again here
“Babies need love and care Men don’t.”
To all the bros feeling lonely and end of the world: I am earning 2.5Lacs per month and I feel the same. Life is a complex thing. First we work to achieve great stuff and then dont value it. Life seems dull again after getting so much. So believe me whether to you fail or succeed: life is gonna be dull, people are gonna judge you, and you are gonna get confused searching the meaning of life. So just do this: achieve your desire, keep going, keep earning, keep enjoying, keep this judging society out of sight, keep showing Middle finger to every person not worthy of being with you and wait for the sun to set.
Last point on fire
The whole purpose of life is to live brother. Forget other people and what they think about you. What do you want to do? Go have a nice lunch at a place you like. Eat ice cream, have a drink. Chill the f out.
If you want to talk, here I am buddy
Very wasy for you to say .
If you want to experience this closely ,go to banaras - Manikarnika Ghat.
There you will know what is the smell, the sight of death , the eyes of dead people's close ones will show you the feeling of death.
Then ask yourself are you so unfortunate to end like this by your own will?
Hey let me know if u wanna talk ? Happy to chat anytime.
Looking for switching to new job profile or promotion using astrology!
Do visit
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPdxvKqAXXK/?igsh=YzljYTk1ODg3Zg==
Finally reading all these, the financial burden is a real problem. Sometimes I think we are turning into machines only to pay our bills. To the dude out there, ugly is just what society tags and feels. Just work on your physique, if not you are giving excuses. Atleast i don't hit gym and I am lean af, but still there is some courage left in me not to say I'm not ugly or anything, fk the world's beauty standards. First wipe that concern, actually this could sound a bit stereotypical. Go for a girl from rural area, she doesn't value much money and would have grown close to humble background and familial values. Trust me in india as in one movie, if beauty is the only standard to get married. Half of Indian man should be single😂. So don't care about beauty standards, just work on your physique. I myself faced this loneliness and it's a silent wave fuckin all it professionals despite statuses. It's just we need some common ground, easier said but try to engage with a NGO actually you will meet sensible people. Or play some sport or just take some courage to intrude into others lives through conversing with them. Travel if money isn't a concern
