Life got fucked even after putting this much effort and time
I come from a small village in Bihar. Although the family's financial condition was not so great, my father never let me feel it. I used to talk less and observe more. Everyone used to think that I'm a dumb. I used to not look confident but deep down I was. Cracked JNV (literally unexpected in the village), and now I was in focus. Slowly I build the foundation in academics. And later I cracked JEE and went to one of old IIT. Worked for around 3 years and then during Covid, met with a girl. And she turned my life into hell from there. She used every fuckin weakness of me and manipulated in every possible way with emotional touch. And 5 months back she moved in forcibly. And I couldn't do anything. Threatend with suicide and what not. I had no choice other than to go with the flow. My career got fucked up. My health got fucked and what not. She don't have good relation with her family. And now she moved everything to marriage and I can't do anything now. Things are so complex and I don't have the capacity to solve this. She's not working. She's focused on money. Controlling the money and I can't do anything. Right now I'm mentally so weak that I just let her do whatever she wants because I know that she's move all conversation to one thing. Manipulation and threaten. But yes she's in love and wants to spend life with me. Who cares if I'm on with it or not. Believe me she's an expert in her skills. I tried everything but nothing worked. Now I lost all control over myself. I'm just letting things happen whatever is happening. Not putting effort in job, health or anything. But she's happy that things are working fine. And she's trying to save few bucks so that we can save money for our future. Lol
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This is not love you fool ! IITians aren’t necessarily intelligent, wow!
Thanks, everyone, for your helpful replies. However, the situation is quite complicated and difficult. It’s much easier to say things than to actually do them. She is very perceptive and has repeatedly told me that if I don’t comply while staying with her, she might either commit suicide, file a legal case, or take actions that would ruin my life and career, ultimately affecting my family. She uses these threats whenever I try to go against her. And then again I take some wrong step in pressure and then again she blames me for that. And as she stays with me in my room, it exponentially complicates the situation for me. Believe me she's very smart and kind of an expert in her game.
In any fight or arguments, she first captures my mobile and laptop. When I try to take it, she starts physically assaulting me. And I can't fight back because she's a girl. And she starts crying so everyone can hear. Now it feels like I'm losing things now in my life. And started thinking about taking the wrong step to free myself.
I have become a prisoner for her.
Leave your job and donate/shift all your money. Get a PS5 and spend your days home gaming, up skilling and reading books.
Seems enough for someone to leave.
Career will take a hit but you can get back at it stronger and better eventually once she leaves.
The money she saved will keep em afloat lol
Similar thing happened with a friend of mine. The girl is forcing him to marry and even though he told her multiple times he does not want to and even blocked her, she threatens to file false charges against him. Law should seriously consider men and their well being too.
Block, shift, disconnect. Get in touch with a lawyer, File harrasment complaint for the records with all these details. And don't get married, whatever happens.
Love😂😂😂😂 never felt so Good take care bro
Omg I can't even imagine what u r going through. Y did u allow her to move in.
She can surely file rape charges against you. She will not commit suicide for sure.
Keep evidence but it will hardly help u. Court might marry u two as well as u both r staying together. Even if u share this with her family they Wil also become greedy. One option is try higher studies. She will get an idea that u r still building career. Slowly detach.
Find job in different city or take transfer from ur current location. Say company requirement. After moving show life is going bad Slowly detach. If she is from good family try talking to them. If u both are having sex pls stop it last thing u want to become a dad...literally
Even with all the evidence (as many suggested), in India it’s law for women and lawda for men.
IMO, she won’t commit suicide if she is just manipulating you. But the legal cases can be real. Take care brother
Leave her. For your sake, leave her. Be harsh. She thinks you are harmless, which is why the manipulative behaviour of hers keeps on escalating. If she still doesn’t relent, threaten to file a case on her. Pack her stuff and throw it out of the house. Change the keys/passcode for your place. Better yet, move out with a friend/somewhere else (if possible) and block her everywhere. Disappear if you must.
This seems drastic and very ‘unrealistic’ advice, but if she cannot handle confrontation or you putting your foot down, you have to get out of her life and get her out of your life instantly. Like ripping off a bandaid.
It will hurt and it will not be easy, but I’d rather you be hurt and alive and have a chance to heal, than to keep staying in such a toxic relationship. Stay safe and take care, my friend.
One advice buddy. All it takes is 3 months, to turn life around. Never forget it. You will rock 💪