Laid off today_
I received a call today asking me to resign after being on the bench for 80 days. It felt like there was no faith in me; they wanted me to share my screen and do it immediately. There was a distinct lack of empathy; they didn’t want to hear anything from me, just demanded my resignation. This experience has made me realize how challenging it can be to work in IT. I used to think I was quite skilled (please don’t misunderstand me, I wasn’t from IIT or in FAANG, but I felt a sense of satisfaction), and I knew more than my peers when I guided them. Today, I felt as if those pixels were mocking me; they have replaced me. People are constantly sharing advice—build your product, join a FAANG, or pursue a government job. I’ve reached a point of mental exhaustion where finding motivation to do anything feels incredibly difficult. Everything sounds exciting, but the reality is that nothing in today’s world seems to cater to those who are mediocre. Yet, mediocrity is not something I can control, at least not after a certain point. Every interviewer expects me to behave like a language model, asking, “Do you know frontend, backend? DevOps? ETL? Kafka?” I find myself puzzled by life. I have been on medication for about three years now, all due to this job—I compromised my sleep and developed hypertension at 22, which my dad doesn’t even have at 60+. Can mediocrity be cured? So far, it seems it cannot. I won’t boast, but I’ve tried everything possible to excel—from those Google/Amazon overachiever DSA sheets to Claude code. However, there seems to be a threshold for the human brain. At some point, I realize that those who claim to be achievers by following certain sheets or tutorials are often just sharing rote knowledge. I have never been able to develop a skill where I’m programming and suddenly think, “Wait, I can use a dynamic programming approach here.” I understand that some may not agree with this perspective, but I’m not targeting anyone. Even if it’s rote, I haven’t been able to do it, so I don’t feel I have the right to criticize. But back to the question: what should someone like me, who feels sandwiched in society between the rich and poor, overachievers and underachievers, successful and unsuccessful, do? I genuinely need some advice.
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I have nothing worthy to contribute to this post. But this experience just reinforces my thoughts to never send a good bye email when leaving the organisation. These civil people won't hesitate to bite when they want. This country is not for honest, decent people.
Not the country but industry, right?
It’s quite disheartening but our farewell emails are just a spam to them. I transitioned to a new role a year ago, yet not a single person from my previous organization has reached out in the past year, despite the strong bonds I had with the team. I can’t help but wonder why that is—perhaps it’s due to the insecurity of being compared based on our job roles.
It seems that honesty is no longer the best policy; nowadays, the market suggests we should "fake it till we make it." Even if one isn’t familiar with AI, it feels necessary to claim knowledge of it just to secure an interview with HR; otherwise, it seems unlikely to happen.
In my family, like many others, we were drawn to the IT field because it was so promising back in the 2000s. Recently, my grandfather asked me how person X from our family managed to move to the USA through the same IT path. I find myself out of words, especially since he isn’t familiar with what AI entails.
Perhaps you were in wrong profession, utilize this time to reflect and introspect to understand where do your interests lie.
I am out of options. At 27, I'm nearly ineligible for junior government roles, and the competition for those exams is well-known. I can't be a 'good' manager because I struggle with manipulating people and asking for resignations over a call. My skills lie in backend and frontend development. Even if I consider roles like tech recruiter or teacher, my salary would significantly decrease. I've been searching for the right fit for years and remain uncertain about what it is.
this isn't a reflection of your skill; it's the brutal math of the bench. once you hit a certain number of days, the system flags you for removal, and the process is designed for their efficiency, not your dignity. they didn't see a person; they saw a resource allocation error. don't let a spreadsheet's logic rewrite your own value.
The industry is structured in such a way that spreadsheets seem to determine one's future—who joins, who stays, and who departs.