Just venting, feeling stuck lately

For the first time in my life, I’m dealing with a strange mix of FOMO and feeling stuck. I’ve always been a positive person — focused on growth, effort, and doing the “right” things. Academics came naturally. I graduated from a tier-1 college and have a decent job. I’ve been a good child, a safe bet, someone parents and society approve of. But lately, I’ve started questioning whether I lived fully. I never had many friends, and I rarely felt as free as the few I had. I never experienced a relationship. Never drank. Never smoked. Never rebelled. At that stage of life, it all felt intentional — discipline over distraction. Now at 26, the perspective has changed. When I look around, I see people who enjoyed every phase of life — relationships, parties, mistakes, memories — and yet ended up in the same professional place as me. Same responsibilities. Same stress. Same uncertainty. It makes me wonder what I missed. It feels like some people lived two complete lives — one carefree, one responsible — while I lived only the latter. Now many of them started marrying their long-term partners. Relationships built over years of shared experiences. Meanwhile, my parents are beginning conversations around arranged marriage, and I feel unprepared. Not because I don’t believe in marriage — but because I’ve never experienced love or companionship in that way. Reading stories about incompatibility and unhappy marriages only adds to the fear. How do you make such a permanent decision without understanding yourself fully first? I don’t regret being disciplined or sincere. But I do question whether I played life too safely. Still, I’m hoping there’s time. Time to live consciously. Time to choose better. Even if I don’t know how yet. Just wanted to let it out. If anyone else feels this way — you’re not alone.