Just Venting
I just need to get something off my chest. I don’t know if this is the right place to share this, or if I’ll be judged or misunderstood, but these are the feelings I’ve been carrying lately. You’re free to criticize or mock me if you want—I simply need to say this.
I’m a 26-year-old guy and within 4 days I'll turn 27. Obviously most of us here are SWEs and I'm one of them. On paper, my life is comfortable, but it has become painfully repetitive. My routine is the same every day: go to work, come home, work out, sleep. This has been my life for the past year. One of the most difficult things for me is that I’ve never experienced romantic love. That absence has created a void that feels like it’s slowly consuming me, and I don’t know how to fill it.
This has started to seriously affect my mental health. There are moments when I feel like I might completely break down. When I come home from work, there’s no one to talk to, no one to share my thoughts with—just silence and emptiness. Some people might suggest talking to parents, but there are things you simply can’t share with them. Sitting alone in my room, I often ask myself: what is all this hard work and constant grinding for, and for whom? I have no one to share my life with.
When I was 23, I imagined myself getting married and starting a family. Now it feels like I’ve missed that window. The modern dating scene only makes things worse, which is why I’ve never used dating apps. I’m not six feet tall or exceptionally attractive—I’m just an average guy with a stable life. I’ve also realized that I struggle to trust people. The world feels increasingly selfish and morally hollow to me, so I keep my interactions limited and guarded.
I’m not desperate for love, but I don’t understand why the lack of it affects me so deeply. People talk about self-love, but even that seems to have its limits. Some might suggest arranged marriage, but I don’t want to be treated like an item on someone’s checklist. Please don’t tell me to travel either—no matter where I go, the emptiness follows me. I’m still trying to understand what is actually bothering me.
At one point, I sat alone in my room and tried to logically analyze how and why I should even approach a girl. It feels like there’s a very high probability that most girls are already in relationships, and I don’t want to interfere or break someone else’s bond—it feels wrong, almost like a crime. I also realized that a female receives constant validation and attention—whether she’s 25 or even 55—through DMs and approaches from all kinds of men, from those earning 25 LPA to 50 LPA or more. In that context, it feels pointless to even try. There’s a very high chance I won’t get a response, and approaching someone this way feels uncomfortable and even creepy. And honestly, putting in so much effort just to get rejected—or to hear something like “I never asked you to do this for me”—feels exhausting and pointless.
Last week at the gym, a guy came up to me and said, “Bro, you look depressed.” I asked him why he thought that, and he replied, “Look at yourself in the mirror.” I still don’t know what he meant.
Lately, I’ve started feeling emotionally numb. I don’t know how to process my emotions anymore. Sometimes life feels meaningless, and I don’t feel like living. The only reason I keep going is because of my parents cuz they depend on me.
I’ll stop here, otherwise I’ll just keep writing.
Note: I used ChatGPT to organize my thoughts. Thanks 🙏🏼
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Chalo. I didn’t read your whole paragraph but i got a brief idea. I broken up with my ex 5years ago, stayed single till the date. After those 5 years she has been into many relationships🤣. Few weeks ago she called me a told that she is not happy . She is not doing well emotionally. But she is earning insane . She was emotionally broken but still wanting someone’s company. Clearly i am above all these dramas. I am not a dudh ka dhula even i have been into multiple relationships … didn’t go well. But last 5years … i didn’t want to find other’s company. What i did is observe myself how i am reacting and all. i talked to few colleagues. Things went to the extreme point … like we talked, shared feelings, gone deeper emotionally… but then i returned to my normal state, because i know what’s gonna happen. What all these narration mean to you? Relationships wont make you happy… if you get married, then your whole life will be no lesser than disaster. Don’t seek emotional support. Just know yourself first. You are not depressed , u are lost. Get out of that loop “ek gaya aur wk ajayega” … find yourself first, make yourself stornger.
Bro honestly I have been close to few people as well just like you mentioned but not in a relationship.But yeah solitude once you realise you don’t need anyone there’s no going back or settling for something less. You have seen enough drama over the years its not easy to manipulate you 😅. This is strength or weakness I am not sure. Being bitchless sometimes sucks makes you unhappy(during long weekends and some late nights 😬) but doesn’t make you lonely. Currently in this stage.
If you think that getting in relationship with other person will make you happy, then it’s the biggest mistake of your life..
Each human must first learn to live happily alone, then only they can succeed in a relationship..
Social media, Bollywood, web-series have created a mirage which everyone envies. They don’t show you the complete picture & only the highs which will attract more viewers as they are in the entertainment business for money.
You should be proud that what you call as repetitive is something unachievable for so many.. consistency to work-out for 1 year..
If you feel that your mental health is bad due to loneliness, trust me my friend, it will be worse if you are stuck with a wrong person in marriage..
Feel free to get some 1:1 mindfulness session if needed.. practice techniques like journaling, as it helps to gather your thoughts & would help you to find what’s really troubling you..
Don’t look at the dating culture out there in metro cities & be stressed by it.. Surely youth is too much into body counts & time-pass, rather than searching for something meaningful, because commitment needs courage.. one night stands needs condoms..
Don’t worry that your age to marry is gone.. not everyone in your family would have married at the age of 23..
Every person is meant to follow their own path.. no two outcomes are bound to be the same..
Don’t try to approach girls out of fomo or peer pressure.. don’t try reaching out to girls at your work place.. find a life outside work place first.. do what gives you happiness.. a hobby maybe.. something you wanted to do, but could not do earlier, but can do now, as you have adult money..
Maybe you will find someone with common ground while pursuing your hobby..
But be responsible.. you must always be the one with your best interests at heart.. as there are vultures out there..
So first decide what are you really seeking.. & take steps towards improved mental health.. rest all shall fall in place.. good luck..!!
Yrr chill out. Men and women aren't that different. Yes women do get those DMs but almost none of them are worthy to be called husband. So the scene is same for women as well.
First figure yourself out, do you want to date to marry? Or are you looking for only casual relationships. If your intention is to marry, I would suggest making points of all the things that you are looking for in your partner. And then just socialise with your friends, go out to parties, every festival in this country has some events, go to them.you might find someone
I relate to almost everything, except the love part. I was in a relationship for 11 years, since school, and I had imagined my whole life with her. Guess what? She left me for some loser. That broke me to the core. I’ve been single for 5 years now, but I have absolute clarity about what I want in a relationship. And I’ve learned that anyone can leave anyone at any time.(Nothing wrong you’d do the same if you have options)
Being loved by the person you desire—the person you truly love—is the greatest feeling on earth. But don’t rush it. If you’re with the wrong person, it can feel like the complete opposite.
Stay positive and keep doing the boring things you do every day. Try finding peace and happiness in solitude. Do something alone that makes you happy once, and then do it again and again and again. Eventually, you’ll realize that you are the only “forever.”
Coming to depression and breakdowns—you’re not alone. I cry sometimes, thinking, “Where did I go wrong to deserve all of this?” I can relate too. I’m not saying this just to comfort you..there’s nothing wrong with you. Just take care that it doesn’t happen too often.
When i hit 27, i was going through same. Later when i talked to Most of the single males around me who were at the similar stage, had same emptiness, loneliness void, etc etc. So cheers you are not alone. My suggestion, start making friendships with females as well(irrespective they being committed or not). You will start to understand how they actually think. I did the same. This helps
Hello… i am in the same boat .. and also available. Reach out to me on chat
Start helping people , even small acts of kindness like donating money, teaching poor kids, visit hospitals and see how many are suffering due to lack of health and lack of money to get treated. Develop a habit, learn a new language, musical instrument, etc.Go watch movies alone, visit places even locally alone.
You are still young to feel this dejected, yea agree there is lack of genuine human connection in this age but we have to make the best of what we have.
Trust me ...not every girl gets attention from random men...it's usually from the ones even you won't like as a man to entertain ...
Rahi baat repetitive life ki ...ek entrance exam deke dekho...sab boriyat nikal jayegi
Koi exam ke liye pdh lo ...AWS, GCP, ....aisa lagega kyu jeere bhi hai ...
Sachi me try Krna ...you will become completely detached from anything remotely related to girls or females