Is it feminism gone a bit far or male ego ?
I feel bad for this couple and hope they get this resolved amicably or at least talk about it. As a husband or wife have you dealt with such situations or how do you deal with such situations?
As a woman I don't get what is making her anxious?? accountability?? Or auditing?? Or equality??
If you are married or in any relationship you have to contribute to the family. That's how it is.
Yes, marriage is not scoring one above the other. I hop they reconcile. Otherwise, it will not end well.
She thought she was contributing "more" than her husband and wasn't aware how much more her husband was contributing, and got a reality check real quick.
It's just the embarrassment that's making her anxious now.
Lemao this is the funniest thing I have read in a while.
Props to the husband :)
Seems like I may have the unpopular opinion here but there's a lack of clarity on exactly what she contributes in terms of house work and childcare and how her consumption is calculated. Charges like daycare, nanny and laundry are not HER expenses. Those are FAMILY expenses that they both are accountable for. The way this is phrased sounds like he expects her to be doing those activities instead of outsourcing them. Since she's contributing financially, I'm assuming she holds a job and doesn't have the bandwidth of a housewife to take up those duties. If the husband earns more, he should contribute more based on the ratio of their earnings. It can never be 50:50. The fact that she has to cut down on basic necessities like an extra serving of food or mobile expenses, instead of say buying an expensive handbag, shows that this isn't a fair calculation that's being performed and we're not getting the whole picture. No one in a relationship should feel indebted to the other, or ever made to feel that way. The husband is handling this as immaturely as the wife. Hope they work it out and communicate in a more beneficial way. Your partner's happiness should be your priority, and that goes both ways, that's the real 50:50.
She clearly mentions a 15k contribution in comparison to 35k her expenses. Yes she has a job and they have a child. Daycare, nanny, laundry is outsourced, and these are family expenses. She is working and won't have bandwidth that is understood. It was all good till a point where she undermined her husband's contribution.
I agree no one should feel indebted. It's never 50-50. But no one should be undermined.
The fact that she contributes 15k and they are able to afford nanny, day care and laundry services. The math ain't mathing. I call it a privilege, which many women around me don't have despite working and contributing more. I see the man as very understanding and helpful. They never had discussed this before. He contributed more financially without making her indebted. Else she won't be able to continue her job give some contribution and 35k as personal expenses.
This isn't unfair on man's part or anyone's part when others simply undermine what you do without making one feel indebted. It wasn't the issue before, it became an issue after she quoted a podcast and showed "she deserves more and contributes too much for the family." That's when one audits contribution.
And the post also points out how clueless the woman is here, she doesn't realise what she did wasn't correct. It's making her anxious to even pay her phone bill?? This also shows they never discussed finances. Both of them are working and both are individual and equally responsible for the family.
Never marry a feminist. If she even hints any equality nonsense, run....
Need to differentiate between feminist and a femnazi.
A man was walking and sees a snake down ahead. Scared, he steps back. Another man behind him says " relax, one can identify whether it's a venomous snake or non venomous snake by its head tail, scale shape".
The first man replied - why the hell should I figure it out.?. Am not taking it to a date. See a snake, run".
Haven't both gone too far? The wife felt she was contributing too much...the husband dismantled the argument though calling house hel and confirming was a bit much.....what is not nice is continuing to keep account....
But as gender roles are redefined i think it takes time to sort out this things.... eating and making freshly cooked food everyday was a bone of contention in the initial few months of marriage...
Yes, they have. Beyond a point proving what's right or wrong does not make sense.
She needs to slap herself, swallow her shallow pride, apologise to her husband for being so considerate and marrying her foolish ass in the first place and stop comparing what she has contributed and live a happy life
Come on! be kind. They both have taken it bit too far. There will be no winners at the end if they do not talk and sort it out.
I find it funny tbh😂
