Introvert- 31st night party
Greetings Everyone!
We have brought new house recently and in this community they are arranging party on 31st night.
I m an introvert who is not shown interest to attend parties but my husband scolded me saying “be like this all the time. You will never know any person in this community. Be like moody”
I felt sad after hearing his words. Initially he used to be supportive of my introversion nature. But recent days I heard a lot of disinterest words towards my character traits. How do I handle these situations.
Thanks in advance !!!
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Why not try and get out of comfort zone? Based on how it goes, Either you change into a new person or he accepts your traits again. Having said that, humans are social animals and need human interaction....
It’s not that I m first time trying to change. I did went on many parties but I didn’t liked it.
Introverts don’t like loud parties. It is nothing about comfort zone etc, and absolutely nothing about humans being social animals and needing human interactions etc. You just don’t understand the human nature and psychology of it. You should read the Book- “Quiet- the power of Introverts in a world which can’t stop talking”.
My experience being an 'absolute introvert' (LOL) is that we don't prefer to socialize with a lot of people at the same time. We prefer groups of 2 to 4 people where we can hang out and have deep convos. Also, the whole loud music, flashing lights and heart-quaking music is a turnoff. Doesn't make us enjoy them. And regarding dancing to music, just dance as much as you want in the manner you want for as much as time you want. Just don't force yourself to fit in - that's the worse feeling. Be yourself and don't take that voice in your mind of 'what others are thinking about me' seriously. That voice will be there and just acknowledge it and let it be. Don't pursue it, knowing that it's just one of those 10,000 thoughts that you have everyday. And regarding your husband, try to make him understand that introverts are so because their brains are hardwired to seek depth over breadth, unlike extroverts.
I really loved they way you described introversion..
my husband understands the situation but still sometimes insists me to become extrovert which I can’t fit into
Tell your husband that introverts can't simply 'become' extroverts just like he can't simply become an introvert. But introverts can carve their own space inside parties and enjoy their own way. He has to understand and respect that.
@Athena411 Try attending the party as it's one way of living in the community and leave the party once it's out of our tolerance. Before going to the party explain to your partner that you will leave the party whenever required. Try being in your partner shoes also. He tried supporting you initially but some times you also need to support him. I understand how difficult it is to be in parties (me being an introvert and not liking these parties). Go with an open mind and try making some friends if possible for community sake😁
Thanks for your support and comment! Will do the same!!
Find other introverts. To be honest it's a scale and not binary. So there are always closer to your tolerance level of extroversion.
While I get that humans are social animals, I absolutely hate this whole party culture. Everyone barely get 30 years of useful lifespan (post acads and pre retirement) where they can do useful work and this whole socializing is eating most of it along with wonderlust and other shitty excuses for lazyness.
Thanks for replying ! I agree your words
I would suggest to find some like minded women in the community and connect with just them and plan going to these parties with them, you can always leave early and go elsewhere. What is important is just trying to be a part of it and trying to find at least 1-2 folks with whom you could connect.
You proved my point of 'humans being social animals' 😄
Most introverts would imagine a lot about fitting in, while the reality is easier than this. I would say try to meet people, you'd initially may like them or may be not, but once you like them, the relations happen naturally, it'll not be that difficult.
Thanks for the suggestion but it’s not that first time I m trying to meet new people. But I don’t like to njoy these parties
Just forget about the others, think like this, that your husband will be with you all the time and you're doing this for your husband. Don't want make him feel weird if you're not in the party and if anybody asks him about you
I am also an introvert but sometimes you need to do things which make others happy for whom you care about
I hope that makes sense 😅
Check reply above!
Talk to your husband about same for the reasons however him saying that sounds logical (not sure if he said those words in explaining or in rude tone whichever it was you should talk to him), cause in a new environment we should have some social engagement with neighbours to be aware who's who and who can be there in need or for awareness itself.
I'd say, spend only a few minutes and walk away with any pretext or reason. Even I face issues, but social gatherings are unavoidable.