People will literally spend most of their waking hours studying and working to get better at it, yet expect the right friend or partner to magically appear in front of them one day without any efforts.
Building and maintaining relationships is as much a skill that can be improved with practice as is anything else.
Stop boxing yourself into labels such as introvert/ extrovert. Everyone needs friends and family to survive and get through life. That requires putting in hours. Period.
This really depends on the individual. Not everyone craves social interaction, and once you get used to being alone, it becomes a way of life rather than something to ‘fix.’ Friendships and family bonds matter, but forcing them doesn’t. Let connections happen naturally, effortlessly.
As for loneliness, it’s a state of mind. You can feel lonely even in a crowd if the connections lack depth. It’s not about having more people around, it’s about having the right ones.
How will you have the right ones around if you're not putting in hours and making efforts towards that end? :)
Now listen to me, I do wfh and i live in a place called barabanki which is almost 30k away from Lucknow. Toh main kaha se search karu friends in barabanki. Plus I had a surgery toh I’m not allowed to travel till march end. Also, modern day friendship is a transaction. Moreover I’ve not a very great experience with friendship so far. Sab ke sab mtlbi hain. Now tell me what should I do?
It is an essential life skill to be able to make friends wherever you go.
Start with your neighbours, society/locality. Offer them food/prasad once or twice, they will start reciprocating on their own. Chat with them and you'll learn many things.
Go to your nearest paan shops, bars and chai thelas, strike up a conversation with the locals hanging around. Small talk isn't rocket science, help them out if you can with your knowledge or connections. Eventually you'll find someone you like.
Every relationship is a transaction, doesn't mean that's a bad thing. If you look out for them, they will look out for you too. Start in good faith, and stay connected with those who reciprocate well. Eliminate those who don't/aren't interested. It's that simple.
Digressing from the main topic, but may I know the name of your company offering remote role.
People nowadays make everything a task or a skill that you need to learn, life is pretty simple you do what you want to, do it with conviction and be ready to face consequences. That's all you need, we meet people along the way it might hurt sometimes, sometimes it works out.
If you're going out just to find friends that means you're unhappy with yourself or with your company, first fix that, once thats done everything else follows.
Remember it always starts with you. I have always believed, that the quality of your relationship with others is directly proportional to the quality of relationship you have with yourself.
We live in a globalised world where many people find themselves completely without friends. No other option but to go find new friends around you.
Having a good friend circle is very underrated, can also unlock professional opportunities.
You're talking like it's a commodity which you can get from somewhere, the more we try the more we will fail until we learn to stop trying to do your work or whatever that we do, people will come to you, friends are something that you earn not by trying but by being yourself always.
Deserve to end up lonely? Dude, different people have different lifestyles and needs. Just because a person doesn't get the opportunity to socialize because of extreme working hours (usually the case for most of the population in india) doesn't mean they deserve to be lonely.
Also, there are people who can thrive in life without any social relations just because that's how they're wired.
And most people don't expect to magically get a wife or gf or friends when they don't socialize.
You're as disconnected from the common folk as it can get.
This post isn't meant for exceptions. Humans are social creatures by default. It addresses those who want to socialize but fail to do so for whatever reason.
There will always be obligations in life, you still need to make time for near and dear ones.
We evolved as social animal throughout the history of sapiens and it's indeed good advice to socialise few hours every week. That's bare minimum
Nice post to find some advice and critics. Here is a thumbs up for you. 👍
I agree with OP, but how do you strike or initiate a conversation with people and keep it going?I am not very good at talking and have difficulty approaching others may be due to bad past experiences from childhood.
feel lack of courage/low esteem when approaching others.
I mean I like the passion but generialiszations are most likely not the answer.
Context: I am a software engineer with 4 years of experience.
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