I'm the quiet one. The one you will find in the back of the rows sitting quietly alone. I wasn't always like this. I used to have friends & I used to talk a lot but not sure when but something snapped & I think it was during my early school days probably in 5th or 6th standard. Kids used to make fun of me & gang up on me due to me being skinny & not so good looking. Then I figured if I talked less & engaged less with people I would not be hurt. So I talked less and less. Just focused on studies. Never shared anything with anyone, not even with my parents. Finished school with bare minimum interaction with people. I was famous as that weird kid who barely talks. Got into college and spent 4 years of engineering without making any friends in fact I used to go very less to college & many people in my class didn't even knew me till the end. Landed a good job as SWE and it was hard for me at first to adjust to a new environment where now talking with people is necessary for the job. I managed to convince my mind to just talk with people work related. I don't interact with them much. Don't know how to do small talks so I avoid having lunch with them as much as possible or go to outings with them. Somehow still surviving in job for 4 years. But now I feel like after all these years of solitude I've become too anti-social & there's nothing I can do to change that. Because that's me. That's part of me now. I barely talk less than 100 words a day if not at work. Not even with my parents & they are always worried about me because of this & they also think I'm weird. I've become too comfortable now to be quiet all the time that it takes massive effort for me to utter few sentences. Due to this I've missed out a lot. No friends from school & college which means no memories which I can look back fondly. It has been just me & my thoughts in my head during all those years. I'm just a lonely man ...
Yaar apan apne jaiso ka ek WhatsApp grp bana lein kya!?
Hey man you are not alone facing this. I have never had any friends except in my college. Everywhere I was the most silent person. Honestly I try to socialize and get one friend always but as soon as someone else comes then they start making fun of me and slowly I start getting alone again. While they continue to grow their friendship. This has followed me everywhere - in school, in college and now present. I am just surprised that why am I always able to secure one friend and then lose only when someone else joins. Why do always they make fun of me only. If they had balanced behaviour like making fun of the other in our trio then maybe I might not have felt alienated. Never had any girl to talk as well.
It simply hurts man as we are human beings "Social Animals". It's our genuine habit to socialise. But I am always left rendered alone. No one celebrates my birthday. You know out of these years there had been only one time when I was called in a birthday party that was when I was in 4th standard.
Even my roommates never included me in their birthday party. Hello was from my child school days only. Like he once himself told me that he and his friends never considered me for inviting into birthday party as they felt uncomfortable as they were not toppers. I had not asked for any explanation nothing. Man this just kind of brought me to reality.
In my professional world also this continues. No one celebrates my birthday though they cut cakes of each other in office.
Also no one asks me for party as well. I am too much alone and alienated. I just don't know how will I get out of it.
Brother sending hugs and good vibes your way 🫂, I'm teary eyed, I also don't have any friends don't go for lunches or even hangout with anyone, have not tried to make much friends in school and college even. I also got to office do my work and come back don't interact much with anyone but just doomscroll and don't even socialize with anyone, now this loneliness is eating me I don't like this at all but yeah it is what it is. If you ever want to talk buddy just ping me :).
Man, your story is exactly the same until you said about the lunch and parents part. A degree higher than me as introvert. Honestly, I have been trying to socialize, but struggle with small talks and end up with awkward silence. Infact, I don't even look forward to chats, find them boring. However, I am still part of groups and have a few bunch of people whom I am comfortable with. I am that one person in every group, who is present, but his presence is never felt. After all these years of effort, I have understood that Communication is an acquired skill and anyone can change their personality.
I can so relate to this. Everything from being made fun of my body to getting more and more reserved with my life.
I can feel your pain of missing out on things and loneliness.
If only I knew what it would take to fix things so that maybe my 30s could be different
I'm a bit confused why are you feeling bad. Introverts gain energy being alone, so I think that's just social pressure that is making you feels bad. I'm introvert & I like being alone. But I also like going to parties sometimes.
you're not alone in this. you got yourself brother. if you think your solitude is your peace then be at it. but if you wanna open up or just share something you can definitely share. just stay strong and healthy.
Well well well more people like me lol.
Us Bhai Us .. :(
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