I like this guy but don't want to ruin his life (hear me out first)

Good thing is, habits rub off each other.
You might pick up some of his, he might pick some of yours.
You might stick with some of yours and he with his.
Obviously all of these are only after you guys get together.
But these are things that make you You.
So don’t get insecure about that stuff.
Imo, all that matters in a relationship is trust, respect and love. In no particular order.
If you that for him, then you will make his life much better.

Those who love you, love you for those things that you find bad about yourself

If he loves you back , then other things don’t matter. Otherwise dost ho sahi the !!!

My suggestions for you - please don't be jealous, or show your trust issues without any valid reason or his doings, and please be understanding ofhis thoughts and the words he speaks. Sometimes words spoken with positive intent, could be taken negatively too. That's where the understanding comes up over time - understanding how he thinks, and what his words would mean knowing him.

Was sort of in this relationship, for 2.5 years, that started this way. So I believe my experience can help you out.

I used to be the guy that's sorted in terms of life, doing exceptional impactful work, non-judgy & non-egoistic, peaceful with too much patience, and an empath. I was the one who proposed her, after starting off as friends for more than 6 months. I liked that she's too caring and has great empathy, loves her family & parents, but has been ignored over her sisters although she's the one taking care of parents.

Now coming to the biggest pain points that ruined it for me - jealousy, trust-issues, non-understanding & tip-of-the-anger issues. She couldn't take it if I talk to any girl - my school friends, female cousins whom I grew up with and are like sisters to me, or even female colleagues if I talked even jovially that I had to deal with on business requirements (i never talked personal stuff with them nor am interested). Me being honest about whom each person is and where they stand in my life didn't matter. Rather i was asked to cut-off people. Too possessive that if I didn't keep in touch over messages even for 1-2 hrs, it's like i forgot about her completely and I don't care about her anymore. Had to change my sleep schedule to a late night, since I had to talk to her daily at later hours after 11 since she's living with her parents. Let go of my hobbies initially because I needed to give time to her in the evening too to talk, this latter got sorted when I ranted on this when I lost it. I started to become an irritant. Didn't keep in touch even with my male friends that much since she didn't like them that much. Lost my focus time during work - I used to be super good, delivering great quality works but now I cannot sit & focus for more than 30mins. I used to constantly worry in my head if I had been checking upon her or not, that if not she would get angry. Losing my patience easily over trivial things became a norm.

I talked out all the issues openly at a latter point. I used to bottle up all my inhibitions in the first 4-5 months or so and then I bursted out in a major fight & broke up. I came back after 3 months, hoping both would've realisations. But I was the only one treated at being wrong. I still hoped that things would change eventually, it's all because she didn't have good relations in the past that made her this person with trust issues. So, I could change her with my positivity is what I thought. We had some major fights and discussions, atleast 5-6 times during the span of 2.5 years, over what to improve in each of us mainly to make it smooth and work for us. And smaller fights - they happen every week or 10 days. And the next 2-3 days will go over that and fixing it. Even the things I tell with a positive intent are taken and turned around in a negative way. And when I explain what I meant, it still is my wrong doing that I didn't think that it could have negative meaning as well and is my communication issue and never her understanding issue. I felt i'm at wrong always.

I used to care for her genuinely, her problems, helping her with her own and her house finances, loved her more than anything or anyone (which she wouldn't believe though). But I understood it the hard way that she can't change ever about trust-issues & understanding my thoughts or words. Broke up 3.5 months ago.

I feel sad sometimes - good times were too good, but the bad times are too bad that they changed me into what I'm not at the core.

Why not just get into relationship and see where it goes? At this point it seems overthinking. Unless that person has an issue with you, you shouldn't be so dismissive of yourself

Don't assume you'll ruin him. Let him make that decision after dating you for a while. You need to do the same, he could very well be incompatible with you.

Only way to know is to try. Best of luck :)

Gotta advise you this pair works very well if there’s good communication cause that would make a balance of things that you both would enjoy, like a few days he can sleep in late or eat junk while he can help you learn finances and get you out of childhood trauma, the thing to take care is you both are a team with different skills and not opposites, also in an event if someone likes something and other one doesn’t there’s obviously gonna be compromise, most of the times that would be him because that’s how men are, just make sure you are aware of his likes and also compromise in some places or else the day one of you doesn’t compromise there would be fights and sure you want them but not so frequently that it disturbs the shit out of you both.