
I like someone but I don’t find them attractive
I’ve been speaking to a girl who I met on a dating app. We’ve built a different kind of bond but it’s all been virtual. I have met her a couple of times when I was in her city last month. She’s very caring and totally non dramatic. I don’t feel any pressure of being something or someone with her.
But the worst part is I don’t find her very attractive and I don’t know how compatible we are in terms of our habits. I thought of working on it by moving to the same city as her but I can’t leave my parents.
Ofcourse this is just an overview of what’s happening and there are many more things I can’t compromise on. But I want to get some thoughts to know what to do in such a situation
Talking product sense with Ridhi
9 min AI interview5 questions

M perspective, married for close 2 decades.
You will get bored of the hottest babe in in a couple of years. (Unless target is a trophy wife).
Look for compatibility, someone with whom you look forward to meeting at end of day.
Someone married the town heartthrob and spend his evenings in a bar, dreading to go home. Because she is screwing his driver/ and every delivery boy at the door
Someone else married the plainest jane in town, and rushes back home everyday just to be with her and share his day.

Well put, thank you 🙏

If you didn't find her attractive, how did you guys match on the dating app?

It was just one of those brainless swipes that people usually do

Exactly. That's the reason why your question too seemed brainless to me after reading it.
Very few are those who have laddoo in both hands. Set your priorities and compromise a little to get the best out of it.
Zyada sundar ke chakkar me log barbad bhi ho jate hai.
You need someone who understands you.
You can't say someone is totally non dramatic if you are not living with them 24*7. Things change drastically.

Exactly my points I can’t do that because we’re in different cities
Check for below FIRSTLY :
Compatibility,
efforts,
being on same page on what you both want in next 10 years (like staying with parents or not etc),
religious and spiritual goals (if religion is important to anyone of you),
assess how they change/not change during fights,
how they appreciate you or take things for granted,
how much time you actually want from your partner (today and in future) and whether they can give it (because of their ambitious carrer choices or not so good office politics),
Your view points about saving and spending money - how much of luxurious life you both want,
How much she is comfortable you giving 30-40% of your salary to your parents with no questions asked,
How much you are comfortable with her X% salary going to her brother/sister's education and taking care of parents.
I think you could never say "yaa you are mom of my kids and I am not attracted to you 😂" lol. I think she gonna become your world one day. But finding a girl who would check mark in all above is probably a rare case (unless you are super duper lucky like me (it gonna happen 🙌) )
You might feel like physical things don't matter to me. But you are wrong to assume this (in case you did 😝). Physical things matter a LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TO MEEEEEEEEE. I am in mid 20s and I have ALWAYS AND ALWAYS BEEN FULL OF THAT ENERGY DAY AND NIGHT.
The thing is I have realized is there are plenty of girls who would be interested into you, but the count might not be sooo high with the ones who match what you are looking forward to in life. And for me attraction starts with the heart. I am wise enough to understand, beauty gonna fade with time (but she gonna be always be beautiful to me because I would actually love her inside out)
Just think, today you would leave someone you might be compatible with FOR SOMEONE you feel highly attracted to. But at the end of the next 15-20 years (actually 5-10 years, no offence to ladies) the beauty gonna fade. So what would you do then?
So bro, think long term (and keep the short time fun on the side)

You literally gave me most of the answers i already had. And yes to your first part of the response, she’s very religious and so am i, money wise it’s an issue for me not for her but it doesn’t matter to her. It matters to me though so that’s one.
I’m only finding it challenging to now hurt her but also make her understand all this. And yes I can’t tell her that I like but not physically. How should I work with this. Can you share some ideas?