I dont have a single favourite day in my 3 years at office
I resent every working day at my company and sometimes I pray that I get fired everytime I hear layoff rumours. I feel zero impact at work and this left me thinking that SDE job is meant to be like this. Such a bad deal for my 20s. I am not totally sad either I have friends, we go out, I had some really good food, really good out of country trips, really good nights all sponsored by my office money. But lately I am just imagining me at 40 and what if I still try finding happiness or purpose outside my office? I spend almost 1/3 of a day there. That just scared me so much today.
I'm in my 30s and I'm still looking for the motivation and will to work. I can honestly say I understand what you're going through. Perhaps, treat work as a chore so that it enables you to do something that you really like (ex, travelling, painting, photography .. or whatever that works for you).
Start with biology especially neuro endocrinology - take testosterone tests . try creatine and exercise (only when your body feels like no gym routine) .
No man has a favourite day only children do . What you mean is it's not a full filling role .
Routine is a great mood stabiliser you are at Oracle naturally it exaggerates the feeling. You need to disturb it think of kid who has exam's near but he chooses to play counter strike ( which is more stresseful by the accounts of cortisol (stress) and adrenaline (fight or flight)) . You need to feel the lows to admire the highs you need to disturb the hormonal baseline.
Btw I was at Accenture in the same situation.
Let me know if you need the help I'll try as best as you could seek .
Start adding bugs to the source code and you'd feel your impact at work.
I've actually started worrying less about my work and spending more thoughts on how I want to live my life with work just a part of it. My company has enforced 9hrs mandatory now. But I dont care. I work for 6hrs since it takes 3hrs per day for me to commute just 12kms since traffic in BLR is increasing by the day and is eating more time. But w.r.t my work and responsibilities at work, I'm delivering things on time by setting realistic expectations and not agreeing to fake expectations because my manager thinks AI can do all my work and I just need to orchestrate it, which is not true.
Just like you, if my company has any problem with that, they can happily lay me off.
Why are you waiting to be let go? You might consider resigning on your own terms as well. It's important to remember that you can't have it all—foreign trips and a less stressful job. We all need to set our priorities. If you're feeling distant from the glamorous life and are seeking a simpler existence—perhaps with fewer people, a smaller space, and a modest income—then maybe it's time to submit your resignation before you become too accustomed to that lavish lifestyle. However, if you desire that lifestyle, you may need to take action. It might not necessarily be in software development, but it could involve similar pressures. Balancing both aspirations while coming from a middle-class background can be quite challenging. A trade-off is essential.
For your family?
For the privilege of going gym and eating clean?
For privilege of trekking?
For that person who will choose you back?
Us
Agree with vitamins, workout / swim/ sports.
Get yourself a massage at a Taj or a Marriott once in while. Like a real good one. Have your favrt drink and read a lot, set a target. Job is a means to an end, not the end itself. Have other goals.
And on work side - trust me, agentic coding will take over. Upskill. Champion cursor or a copilot or whatever tool you use. Build you own app.
