I am not ready for marriage
I'm 24F, going to turn 25 soon. Parents have already started searching for arranged marriage matches despite me telling them repeatedly that I have no interest in marriage right now and that I want to focus on my career and just living life. But they always come up with a million reasons -
- If I get older, I won't get good matches.
- Career goals can be completed after marriage too.
- I have completed studies, have a good job, and the next step is marriage.
- People around me are getting married.
- Will be easier to settle now rather than later. etc etc.
- You can have fun after marriage.
- We have to say no to such good rishtas.
While some of their concerns are valid, I just don't feel ready right now. Honestly I've only started living my best life after moving away from my parents for this job, and I don't want it to come to an end so soon. There's still so many personal goals to achieve, things to explore, I don't want this stress right now. Moreover, nothing comes to my mind when I think of what I actually want my partner to be like right now.
They are searching for ekdum susheel sanskari ladka but I'm not that girl. I have my perks, I do have fun drinking with friends, I'm not as polite as they are expecting me to be. I do speak my mind freely.
And the worst thing is, which is still unbelievable to me, is that they got a rishta of a 500 crore family's ultimate susheel sanskari US returnee bachelor boy for me. And I have no idea why this family is even pursuing me and not some ultra rich girl which would match their standards. Meri 15 lakh ki naukri kya hai 500 crore ke saamne? And above all, the guy looks like an uncle and he's 4 years older than me.
And my parents seriously want me to consider him. I am amazed that they have swayed so easily.
How do I convince them to just give up the idea of finding a boy right now??? I am literally just ready to pick up a fight now. Anyway, anything that I say will definitely be considered as disrespect by my father.
Talking product sense with Ridhi
9 min AI interview5 questions
I was about to write some good things for you. But when I read the paragraph after that 7th number from - " while some of their concerned... an end so soon" I was like this is gendu generation.
Not bcuz u don't want to marry, not bcuz of you found that boy "uncle type" obviously when we get the best fit then only we should marry .. but those 4 lines shows how you are exactly. I hope no boy/men/uncle should marry to you.
I come from an orthodox family who didn't even encourage me to make friends. Of course staying away from family has been dramatically liberating. And i have no shame in saying that life is actually much much better without a million restrictions imposed on me
Same thoughts after reading that part.
tell them you are a lesbian
You can reject this guy saying you don't find him good looking.
You can start slowly and try knowing the other person first and tell your parents and the other party that you wanna take it slowly, talk and understand each other first and also let those guys know your real character, choices etc.
If there is no guy in your life then it is not a bad idea to start looking out tbh, this is a good time for you.
I am 33M, and still searching. So speaking from experience.
I feel you are being slightly immature right now, try to think from a different perspective
health, family(relationship), career(money) are all equally important in life.
Good luck :)
Bro🙌
Being swayed by money is nothing new in this materialistic world
I'm doomed
Don’t consider this family by the way, too much of desperation could be a red flag at times.
Regardless, at no cost Marry against your will. I have seen a divorce in my family. My sister has a bf, but he was Bengali and we were not . She had to end that with him, she married as per her mother’s wish to a guy in the same culture. The guy was good, but still they separated after a couple of years.
Now the mom is like look for second marriage. She got married last month after 5 years of being single post divorce but this time completely at her own will.
These decisions are tough, and even more tougher when you are not allowed to make that call for yourself or being pressured to take one. Know that whatever happens in your life, even if you fail…it’s better to own your decisions and not blame anyone else for it.
Only marry if you are convinced about the other person being a good partner to you. It will be tough to mitigate this with your parents, but do tell them you clearly are not ready. Tell them you can take care of yourself, and that you are not denying for an arranged marriage , just that now is not the time.
All the best with that✨✨✨ Hope you do not get married anytime soon ✨✨✨
If you aren’t ready, don’t go for it. It’s better to save lives of individuals, before marriage happens! Once you are in, it would suffocate you and the guy if either you or your partner aren’t on the same page!
If you can convince them that you're a lesbian.... And make them understand... Maybe... Just maybe... It might work...