I am feeling guilty of wasting money
Hi, I have wasted lots of unnecessary money in exam forms, tution, college application fees, job application fees, etc. I did not got anything out of all. Like I gave GATE EE exam 3 times, CAT exam I gave for 4 times, XAT 1 time, IIFT 1 time, many other govt and college application fees. I did not achieve anything out of all this. Nothing, zlip, Nada, Tata. I spend 47 k rs in ACE coaching fees also, did not achieve anything. Zlich. I got 95%ile in GATE EE exam but did not got anything, in CAT exam max I got 90.43%ile took admission in local govt MBA college. From GATE i did not got anything. Same happened during JEE preparation days also, I spend money on coaching for 3 f#cking years, in 12+1 (drop) year I got 164 marks in jee main 2015 exam but did not get anything serious, so joined local govt college IET Lucknow in 2015.
I gave GRE exam also once , I got 308 score. I gave TOEFL exam 2 times (100 in 1st attempt, 96 in another), I paid 17 k for APS certificate, I spend lots of money on foreign college applications, i got admission in few colleges but family said those were low ranking colleges, so i did not join, wasted money there also.
In 2015 i joined MMMUT for 1 month but I did not liked the college so left it after 1 month, lost 1 lakh there also.
Like this I think I have spend around 25 lakhs in college applications, multiple exam forms (govt exam, college exams, etc). I dont even remember how many forms I have filled till now.
I spend money on IIT Madras online certification course also and got foundational level certification in data science and programming, which no one asks for, useless certificate.
Everything is useless including my Btech in EE degree also.
I should have known my level, i shouldn't have dreamt big, I was stupid, my efforts were wasted because I am non ews general caste student, I am very avg student, I am avg IQ person, I am insecure and I can't take better decision.
I always wanted to escape India that is why I spent money in GRE, TOEFL, APS certificate and multiple foreign college forms.
I am going to be 30 yo this November.
I regret all my decisions. I should have settled for less because I deserve less.
It’s okay. I gave CAT 4 times, spent a lot of money on preparation and guides, towards the end of, I thank god I did not do MBA and take that hefty debt.
So sometimes things happen for a reason.
In India these exams and academics might feel like the default path. Taken by the herd it's safe and predictable. But look outside of it and find something you enjoy and are good at. Put in your efforts there and things will eventually work out. Don't settle with mediocrity
It's okay buddy, it's good that you tried. Many people don't even put in that much effort. Can't know what you're good at unless you try.
If nothing else, you can now guide students with what to do and not to do when they want to explore their academics.
It's okay to be average too, shouldn't feel disheartened about it. Best to accept things as they are, and try your best regardless.
It sounds like you don’t know what to do. Figure it out first and then spend money. Do you want to go for an MBA or MS?
- I have wasted lots of money unnecessary in exam....
