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Bro don't panic . First of all go to talk to your trustworthy friend or relative, who understands you . Take a break . Take a long walk with him ,discuss things with him/her. Trust me this is temporary . Believe in yourself.
Bro. You can talk to me. Dm me. I will help you enjoy.
Please take counselling without any prejudice, sometimes u exactly know what is wrong n what to do but u would be looking out for a push, to have someone to vent it out & to not judge you.
So my advise is to go for a counselling.
We are all here if u just need a space to open urself but priority shd be to go for a certified counsellor.
Talk to someone Friends, family preferably professional therapist
It’s your fault
You are depressed because you make the terrible decisions